Letters to a Daughter
by Umeko
Summary: After arriving in Valinor, Elrond writes down his thoughts and experiences in letters addressed to his now mortal daughter. Crack-fic and parody.
1. Arrival

Elrond and his companions arrive in Tol Eressea and get snared in immigration. You may take this as a sequel to Figwit's Journal.

**Arrival**

_Fourth Age 1, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

We have reached the Undying Lands this morning. Mithrandir took the express lane through the immigration checkpoint with the Hobbits while the rest of us are stuck in the queue. Fortunately, your grandmother did not kick up too much of a fuss. She went below decks for a lie-down, as did Glorfindel. It strikes me as odd as there is no way they could be seasick in such calm waters.

Speaking of seasickness, you will be glad to know your favourite Uncle Mel is feeling a lot better. Kept down some gruel this morning after the storm broke. He is looking forward to meeting up with his parents. Met Lord Osse and Lady Uinen last night on approach to Valinor and they were a little frisky, which explained the patch of rough weather we encountered. Osse sent a rain of mackerel for our luncheon by way of apology.

Nothing has been decided yet on room and board. I intend to take rooms at an inn on Tol Eressea. Immigration rules require that newly arrived elves spend some time on the island to acclimate themselves to the 'light' of Valinor. Seems a nice place for a rest, if one overlooks the fact we are still stuck on the deck waiting to be 'processed'. Mithrandir is quite apologetic about the mess but he had his instructions from the Valar. Wish I have Lindir or your brothers to while the time away with. Mel is a good valet but he's not one for interesting conversation.

I sincerely hope Estel is treating you well… If he isn't, your brothers will sort him out. Miss you.

Your loving Ada

* * *

_Fourth Age 1, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Finally cleared immigration after two weeks on board a ship bobbing in the harbour. My fellow passengers were glad to see the end of the ship – they fired it, which was a crying shame given the work Cirdan's crew put into it. It was starting to reek. Will not speculate on how Captain Glorfindel and your grandmother ended up being fished out of the harbour with second-degree burns and smoke inhalation. They are warded in the infirmary as I write. Your grandmother is claiming it an omen she should cease her relationship with Fin. I sincerely hope they continue to be friends after this.

They could have hauled it ashore and turned it into an inn or something. Note numerous buildings made from ship timbers in Avallone. The sight of a fine ship going up in flames is enough to bring tears to the eye of an old elf. My foster father Maglor was there to meet me, along with your dear Nana.

Your Nana has improved tremendously since you last saw her. Maglor also introduced me to his lady-wife. My foster-mother never left Valinor and is of Teleri stock. They would be glad to have us lodge at their place (a charming cabin made of ship timbers, naturally). They have no elflings of their own and have adopted Celebrian as a daughter during her sojourn in Tol Eressea. Her grandfather tried to have her sent up to Tirion on arrival but was overruled by his council. Something about that Light of Valinor thing again, and the fact they had to send your Nana to Lorien for treatment. Maglor explained that he had to serve in Olwe's household as a servant for a time as penance for the First Kinslaying. They had him herding swans.

Mel is agog at how Ada Maglor ended up with such a lovely wife. Maglor is now a minstrel attached to Olwe's court, having redeemed himself in the eyes of the Lindar. He is a member of the Alqualonde Shore quartet – the other three being Fingon, Finrod Felagund and Ecthelion of the Fountain. Daeron was part of the group but left due to incompatibility of his music.

Have informed your Nana about your choice. She is not amused in the least. Hence I will be sleeping on the patio until further notice. Don't worry. The nights are balmy here and Maglor has kindly put up a cot there for me. Your Nana will come round eventually.

Am nervous about meeting the rest of the family – especially my real parents. I know they will be proud of you…

Your Ada, Elrond Earendilion

**Author's Notes:**

Fin - Elrond's nickname for Glorfindel

Mel- Figwit/ Melpomaen's nickname in the family.


	2. In Avallone

Elrond is unable to meet his real parents Earendil and Elwing and finds employment in the House of Healing. Glorfindel meets that elusive dark-haired love of his in a way. Finrod does not disappoint when proving the Finwean virility. Elrond is no fan of the Silmarilli.

**In Avallone**

_Fourth Age 1, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Uncle Finrod dropped by Maglor's to cheer me up. Seems my ada is too busy sailing the skies to visit and my nana is not venturing out of her tower on the Shadowy Seas without my ada and the Silmaril to keep her company. Déjà vu.

I recall many nights huddled up under the blankets with my brother to avoid getting blinded by Nana's necklace. I know Ada hated the way she pays attention to her pretty jewel. I imagine he wished he could drop it off his ship now but the Valar would not let him. At least they say Nana visits his Vingilot once in a while when he is sailing. I confess they are like total strangers to me. I can't recall ever being on my real adar's knee as an elfling. Nana would send us to bed without supper for trying to bury her necklace in the privy.

Maglor's wife, Linde, is all cracked out for the role of mother – understand she helps watch Finrod's brood of children and grandchildren on occasion. Finrod is a father to twenty-five and possibly more. He is currently on marriage number five. His first wife Amarie appealed to the Valar to end their bond in the Second Age after elfling number nine. Uncle Finrod has broken the previous record held by the House of Feanor. At the same time, he has been linked to Ingwe's grand-niece, Thingol's Melian and even his law-sister Eldalote. Seriously, malicious gossip is an art form here. Maglor reassures me that despite some rumours I have been hearing, there was nothing going on between him and your naneth. In fact, Uncle Finrod has been most kind in helping her adjust to Valinor and recover from her wounds.

Finrod invited me to meet with his friends in the Shore Quartet tomorrow evening. They are thinking of expanding the group by including his baseborn son Gildor Inglorion and his merry friends. If they get enough elves, they could appeal to Olwe to re-open their music conservatory on the shore. The last one was washed away by Lord Osse a few yeni back after Ecthelion's rendition of _Yodeling off Valinor_ with snapping lobsters in B flat. The title alone sounds awful and Finrod assures me it was as Ecthelion had yet to master the intricacy of the alp-horn then. I wonder if it is too late to back out now.

I promised your Nana to accompany her on a stroll by the beach. We never had a chance to do so that often in Middle Earth. The sand here is fine and soft and the waters warm. Back in Mithlond, dancing barefoot in the surf is an invitation to the healing wards for urchin spines and stuff. Celebrian also says we should leave our hosts some time alone with their guest… Not sure why I glimpsed three pairs of feet peeking out of the blankets on Maglor's bed on the way out.

Your naneth has forgiven me your decision to remain with Estel as love knows no bounds. She accepts that – and I feel she is urging me to aid her in providing another elfling. So perhaps you might have a little sister or brother soon. Perhaps I could check in on your Uncle Mel and his family. Last I saw was him getting dragged off by his parents for a gumbo fest. Do hope he recalls his allergy to prawns.

Your loving Ada, Elrond Maglorion

P.S. I am considering disowning my real parents in favour of Ada Maglor.

* * *

_Fourth Age 1, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Visited the Tol Eressea House of Healing to check on your grandmother. She is up and about catching up with various family members and old friends. Maglor's nephew Celebrimbor was visiting and she had him go with her into the privy to adjust her corset. Just the job for a strong smith, so she said. They are taking an awful long time. Starting to seriously think there's some truth about her relationship with that smith. The fact that outhouse they are both in is vigorously shaking seems to suggest that – or perhaps your grandmother is wearing her heavy-duty corset with the mithril ties.

I hope I can catch Celebrimbor later for some trinkets as gifts to my extended family. Perhaps matching brooches for my grandparents Tuor and Idril, or a hair clasp for Nimloth. Also thinking of getting a memorial locket for that lock of hair you gave me and giving it to your Nana. I wonder if it would be wise to ask him to forge a ring for great-grandfather Turgon but I think that might be pushing it.

Ecthelion was visiting Glorfindel to discuss some rumours about their relationship back in Gondolin. There was some punching, wrestling, screaming, and choking… Then Ecthelion got Fin's head stuck in his alp-horn. Your Ada's skills were called on to extract our poor captain from the instrument. Do not understand how anyone could think that Ecthelion and Glorfindel were lovers – Glorfindel always has been a ladies' elf. Those vile rumours and jokes have ruined Ecthelion's prospects for marriage even after he gave up playing the flute. Poor ellon is still single although he is keen on finding a wife and starting his own little family orchestra. I am highly curious as to who the slender, dark-haired, flute-playing elleth who has captured our Balrog-slayer's heart is.

To pass the waiting required of newly arrived elves, I am signing on as a healer in the House of Healing at invitation by the residents. They have a severe shortage of trained healers here. Perhaps I should consider training a couple of the younger elves in the healing arts so as to better deal with the injuries and wounds of the fear and hroar suffered by elves back in Arda when they arrive here.

Your loving Ada, Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Whether or not there is a threesome going on in Maglor's cabin is anyone's guess. Galadriel has a serious fondness for strong, virile ellyn. Glorfindel has been lying about having a soul-mate in Ecthelion (or someone who resembles his former best friend a lot). Poor Ecthelion must be so confused why every elf sailing from Arda thinks he swings that way.


	3. Many Meetings

Elrond meets the Lords of Gondolin and the Feanorions.

**Many Meetings**

_Fourth Age 3, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

After much careful consideration, your nana and I have purchased a comfortable cottage some distance up the hillside for us and our household to live out the rest of this waiting duration. I understand from your Nana that it was twenty cycles of the sun before she could travel to Tirion for a visit to her grandparents. I should not impose on my Ada's hospitality any longer. Please note that I am referring to Maglor Feanorion here. I have coined the title 'Absent Atar' for Earendil.

News travels fast here and we were subjected to a surprise visit by Captain Fin and the Lords of Gondolin. Uncle Mel was utterly overwhelmed as he only expected the house-warming to be a cosy little affair with a couple of close friends. Still, he and your naneth put up a valiant fight getting enough victuals for our unexpected guests. To be fair, grandmother Idril and grandfather Tuor did bring some apple-wood and a whole seasoned hog for roasting. Great-grandfather Turgon brought his best wines, which turned all the ellyn drunk and rowdy.

I would say the Lords were a good deal, um, different from what they say in the ballads. Lord Manwe, when drunk, they are worse than your brothers at stirring up trouble. Lady Elenwe had to drag the one-time king of Gondolin off when he started wearing his underwear on his head. Lord Rog broke a window juggling his hammer. Elgamoth was flashing the rest of the guests. Ecthelion decided to skinny-dip in the garden pond. Then there was the food fight Idril and Tuor had to break up. A whole hog being tossed about does serious damage to the furniture. Mel is crying due to the grease on our new curtains and cushions.

The lords even included the recently re-embodied Maeglin in the party as a sign of forgiveness. Unfortunately, the forgiveness lasted only until the last bit of sobriety quit the party. At which point grandfather Tuor organized a lynching party and Aunt Aredhel had to rescue her son from a second visit to Mandos. Aunt Aredhel is such a keen sword-elf. Someone set fire to our nice thatched roof before dessert. I did not like the thatch but your nana insisted – it was that or we live in a talen.

Have sent Mel to check in with Maglor if they could spare a couple of beds and some changes of clothes. At least my precious books are still at the House of Healing, waiting to be unpacked.

Your loving Ada, Elrond

P.S. Pray this is the last time the Lords of fallen Gondolin descend on us.

* * *

_Fourth Age 3, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

I just had the dubious honour of meeting the rest of Feanorions this morning when an irate Curufin and brothers came storming up to the House of Healing under the mistaken assumption your grandmother was still working there. We had to request she leave the premises due to complaints from the patients' wives. I think it would be a good idea if Lord Celeborn sails soon as your grandmother is, unfortunately, one lusty she-elf. Back to the Feanorions – well, Curufin was demanding Galadriel keep away from his son Tyelpe and kicking up a fearful fuss. Curufin muttering something about Galadriel being a cradle-snatcher but I think she does not have any such intentions towards her distant nephew. She's just taking him under her wing. Celebrimbor has always been a little gullible and needs a wiser elf to guide him along.

Did not dare stoke the fiery Feanorian temper further by informing them Galadriel and Celebrimbor have set up together in a nice cottage on Hollyhock Hill. Ada Maglor does not approve of the arrangement, but he is not judging. Met Huan face-to-face. The hound bowled me over and wrecked the office before Celegorm got him under control. A fine beast, he is. Caranthir and the twins decided it would be a great idea to coax me into spilling the whereabouts or drown in hound-slobber. To his credit, Huan refused to cooperate and opted for a round of shoe-tag.

It was Maedhros who came in and calmed his brothers down – by dunking the twins into a water butt and flogging the others with his riding crop before returning his relaxing game of checkers with his favourite cousin Fingon. Oh, former King Fingon landed in our ward after a cliff-diving accident while on honeymoon with Maedhros, so Maglor says. I am sure he meant vacation. Understand the pair has been inseparable since Maedhros was re-embodied. Apparently, Fingon stormed into Lorien to fetch him well before the recommended recovery period and Maglor warned us he might still have some rough edges.

Personally, I can vouch that Maedhros is a good deal saner these days. Temper still something to be reckoned with but I guess he needs it to keep his little brothers in check. Curufin apologized to me for the damages done and asked us to send the bill to the House of Feanor at Formenos. He also promised he and his four brothers will be on the next ferry back to the mainland.

Your Ada, Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

The Lords of Gondolin are real party animals. Galadriel is playing at being a cougar with poor innocent Celebrimbor.


	4. That Pipeweed Party

Mithrandir cultivates a new type of weed and the elves feel the result. The graduation party at the music conservatory gets too much of a kick from some special brownies.

**That Pipeweed Party**

_Fourth Age 4, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

We have finally gotten a place of our own, next to the only Hobbit-hole in Aman. Our home is not much to look at but it is cosy enough for two. We will seek bigger lodgings when your brothers sail, if they ever. The Baggins are jolly company to be about. Your Nana has made a habit of baking some cakes or pies for the neighbours seeing that Master Bilbo's age made moving about the kitchen difficult and Frodo is not that much of a cook. One must be careful when visiting as the ceiling is low – Master Olorin had the place done in the same manner as Bag's End or the Baggins' old place. Fin kept bumping his head on the ceiling when he visited.

Bilbo's mind is clearer now though he still needs my care for his ailments of age. To be fair, I am probably the only Eldar healer with experience with mortal ailments on the island and possibly Aman. He likes to spend his days on the porch smoking his pipeweed. Master Olorin has obtained permission from Lady Yavanna to cultivate pipeweed – Old Toby's, I think – on a field beside the Hobbit-hole. I still stand by my opinion that pipeweed does nothing for Bilbo's cough. Olorin's younger looks seem to have the Hobbits a bit confused so he is sticking with Mithrandir's fana for now. Still, the fact Mithrandir is healthy after smoking for so many years does not mean it is good for one's health.

Celebrimbor has picked up the foul habit of smoking to the dismay of your grandmother – she kicked him out of their shared abode. She says there is no way she is kissing an ashtray. He is now living out on the beach in a tent after being booted out of the local inn for fire safety concerns. Rolling up the dried pipeweed in paper and setting them alight saves on the need for a pipe but flicking those butts about is asking for trouble. He has set fire to a haystack, a blanket and Ada Maglor's laundry within a week. Ada is also concerned about the special dream-weed from inside Mithrandir's shed which has his nephew zoned out. He does seem a bit more relaxed now but it is weird having someone known for being constantly buzzing about his forge just sprawled out on the sand smoking weed.

Frodo has recovered much from his morgul wound. He has been trying his hand at gardening. We had some tomatoes from his plot. They were the size of cherries and as hard as stones. It seems the Baggins are no gardeners. Frodo keenly wishes his Sam is here, and we do too. It is a crying shame to see him killing the roses with too much water. Your Nana is trying her best to be neighbourly and guide him along but as you might have guessed by now, the lovely roses and orange trees in Imladris was due to Vilya. Your Nana could even kill weeds if she tries to grow them.

Missing you, my precious daughter.

Your Ada Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 4, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

I regret to inform you that our family friend Mithrandir has been hauled in by Captain Glorfindel for growing illicit substances and corrupting the youth of Tol Eressea with his weed. He will be appearing in the Ring of Doom for some disciplinary action I think. There was some wild beach party where his dream-weed was being distributed by Celebrimbor. Celebrimbor swears the weed-smoking helped with his hyperactivity and bad dreams from his past life. He convinced the entire student body of the Finrod's music conservatory and some of the teachers to try out Mithrandir's weed at their beach graduation party. The weed sent most of them into the House of Healing and my care.

Many of the younger elves are out cold if not being as sick as dogs from smoking the weed. Someone also spiked the party brownies with dream-weed. Finrod Felagund is tied to his bed and screaming something about being eaten by wolves. Ada Maglor has to be tied to a pillar to stop him from running off into the sea naked. Ecthelion thinks he is a fish and is flopping about the floor gasping. Celebrimbor has no idea what went wrong with this batch. Maedhros is not amused Fingon got so high off the brownies he is blabbering embarrassing bedroom talk to any elf within earshot. He has sent word to Formenos to have Celebrimbor sent there for rehab. The unwashed dreadlocks look is not winning any points from Uncle Maedhros for Tyelpe.

Fin, why are you and Mel dancing on the roof and tossing off your garments? You did not touch those spiked brownies, did you? I thought I was done with this after sailing. Who can forget the time your brothers spiked the Yule cakes with Aiwendil's magic mushrooms?

Methinks it will be a very long night for me.

Your loving Ada

* * *

_Fourth Age 4, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Your Nana is concerned about me writing these letters regardless of the fact that you are unlikely to ever read them. It is not that we are setting out to replace you but she is most insistent we get round to producing a little sister for you. Personally, I think she is yearning for a daughter to fuss over. I hope you will not begrudge us this. However, she is concerned that her injuries from that unfortunate incident though healed, may have rendered it difficult for her to conceive. I am trying to reassure her otherwise. This worrying is not good for her.

Grandfather Tuor and Grandma Idril dropped by to visit and dissuade us from trying for another child. Seem my own parents tried to replace me and my brother after they learned they were not going to be a part of our growing up years. It did not pan out and the frustration only drove them further apart. We had no idea Earendil and Ewing even noticed our absence. Perhaps I should not be too harsh on them. I hope I will be able to visit my parents soon.

Uncle Finrod showed up with a blond girl-elfling in his arms. He is asking if we would like to adopt her for our own as 25 children are more than enough for him and the child's mother is already wed to another. Ada Maglor is asking Finrod to let him keep her. He would be willing to claim and raise his wife's bastard child as his own as he wishes to be a father once more after two Ages.I seriously wonder how many children Uncle Finrod has scattered over Aman and Middle Earth. 25 is probably an understatement.

Once more I wonder what my parents are doing and when they would find time to visit me. Perhaps Elros had the right idea choosing the path of Man and refusing to have anything further to do with our parents, even if they had tried to get in touch with him on Numenor. He never quite forgave Elwing for choosing a jewel over her own sons. I think I'm being childish. I do not regret being an Elf – I am much blessed with your Nana and three lovely children. Ada Maglor and Uncle Maedhros showered me with much affection during my time with them. I miss you and hope Estel is treating you well. He should. I brought him up ever since he was a toddling baby.

Your loving Ada, Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Yes, it is marijuana Mithrandir is growing in that shed.


	5. Meeting the Parents

Elrond meets his biological parents over dinner and things go south from there. The Feanorions seriously toss a monkey wrench in the works for the Burning Elf Fest.

**Meeting the Parents**

_Fourth Age 5, Tol Eressea_

Dearest daughter Arwen

My parents finally decided to make a trip to Tol Eressea to visit us. Mel is awestruck such a heroic figure would be descending on our humble abode. He has been turning the house inside out to make it fit to receive mighty Lord Earendil. One might think we were due to receive Lord Manwe and the High King with the over-the-top red carpet with gold dusted bon-bons and stuff. Mel's efforts were for naught as Maglor's goats wandered over and ate both carpet and bon-bons before Earendil came. Did I mention that my Ada's wife is trying her hand at cheese-making? I hope those bon-bons will not ruin her feta cheese.

Well, Elwing and Earendil showed up in that fancy silver carriage Mel sent for them at the quayside. They both mistook Mel for me. I guess they can be forgiven for that as I was an itty-bitty elfling when they abandoned me and Elros. Mel will have something talk about at the pub – being embraced and kissed (on both cheeks) by Elwing, granddaughter of Luthien and the dragon-slayer Earendil. Better him that me. I was never much for the touchy-feely stuff with new acquaintances. I know they are my parents biologically, but I still consider Maglor Feanorion my Ada.

Your Nana outdid herself with the feast (with copious help from the household staff). We had Idril and Tuor drop in too with a venison casserole. A pity Maglor had to bring his foster daughter for swimming lessons. It might be for the best as I do not know how Elwing would react to having him at the same table for dinner.

Dinner unfortunately was a pain. Ada Earendil kept comparing me to my brother Elros. Sure, Elros is better at wrestling, working with his hands and stuff. You don't see me comparing Elrohir and Elladan right? I bet Elros is laughing at us from wherever mortal souls go to. Ada Earendil seemed to forget that that incident which saw us marooned on a rock-pile was Elros' idea.

Nana Elwing kept asking me why I let Elros choose the path of Man. I was never consulted on that in the first place and learnt of it after the fact. Think I enjoyed watching my twin grow old and feeble? His passing was very traumatic to me. It was like having a piece of my heart ripped out. Your grandmother was not pleased about me letting you follow in her grandmother's footsteps and choosing the path of Man for love – well, at least I did not set Estel some highly unattainable goal which would likely get him killed.

Tuor sided with you on this one but Elwing retorted that he became an Elf, so no big sacrifice on his part. Idril took offence and reminded Elwing that she still has no qualms spanking her bottom for her rudeness despite her current age. Understand Elwing was a bit of a brat as an elfling – comes from being the pampered heir of Dior's royal court after her twin brothers went missing. That sent Elwing off in a huff. Idril advised Earendil to go after her. He did but I later saw Earendil sneak back later with a beer keg to join Glorfindel and Tuor in the back-garden. He came with Galdor, Ecthelion and several other Lords of Gondolin who have taken up residence on the island. I hope their carousing will not disturb the ladies. Oh Manwe, Glorfindel is already drunk and singing about the _Swan and the Gander_ while dancing on the table.

I think I might take a leaf from Celebrimbor's book and get myself some of that dream-weed from Mithrandir. Perhaps with the correct studies and processes, we can turn this noxious weed into something a healer could really use.

Your loving Ada, Elrond

P.S. The lords of Gondolin have just set fire to your Nana's gazebo. I consider it a miracle Gondolin lasted as long as it did with that lot at the helm.

* * *

_Fourth Age 7, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Your grandmother Lady Galadriel insisted we attend dinner at her place. The kings of the Noldor would be in attendance, so she said. However, only her parents, Fingon and Maedhros showed up. Gil-galad went missing somewhere between the quay and the house. Turgon and his father Fingolfin got waylaid by some gathering in Alqualonde. I never knew grandfather to be a fan of the Burning Elf Festival in Alqualonde – oh, they styled the ceremonial effigy to be burnt in the likeness of Feanor – with his blessings I may add. He even volunteered to have his wife's workshop craft the wooden structure. I wonder how much of the Burning Elf ceremony Feanor understood. The effigy will be set ablaze after a week-long orgy of dance, music and wine – must never forget the wine. I think I know where Gil-galad is now. A wild beach party sounds more fun than your grandmother's stuffy dinners.

Uncle Maedhros is not amused they voted to have the Burning Elf effigy in his father's likeness this time. Fingon dragged him to Galadriel's unannounced as he did not want another kinslaying to happen. Your grandmother was not too happy about her cousin crashing the gathering but Fingon volunteered to keep Maedhros under control. Galadriel sent Mel over to Maglor's to have him join us for dinner, just in case. Mel returned in shock muttering something about three elves in bed. I seem to recall Mel saying something about Maglor getting our cook to help watch his little one while he and his wife entertain Finrod Felagund. Methinks Ada Maglor wants a little sibling for his baby-girl. Intrigued, both Fingon and Maedhros upped and left for Maglor's house - with Maedhros threatening to pound Finrod into the ground.

Your grandmother seemed quite unperturbed by the threats of violence towards her brother. If anything, she told her cousin to make him scream. Thankfully, Finarfin and Earwen were being shown about the herb garden by your Nana. The royal pair really dotes on your Nana.

_(Scrawl…) _What was that? Methinks it is either a cat in heat or Finrod Felagund. Lady Galadriel is smiling like a cat that has drunk the cream and then had the canary for dessert. She had a decanter of miruvor on standby to settle the jolted nerves of her daughter and parents.

Your loving Ada, Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 7, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

I was wondering whether I should be writing of such indelicate matters to you but I guess after nearly ten sun-cycles of marriage, you would be no stranger to such matters. I will not mention those dalliances in Lothlorien your grandmother had written to me about.

The heroic Finrod Felagund was admitted to the House of Healing for exhaustion after last night's recreation at Maglor's place. His parents were quite alarmed. I was spared the awkwardness of explaining the cause of his current condition when Frodo Baggins strolled in complaining of his morgul wound burning. Next patient was Bilbo after he slipped in someone's sick on his doorstep while picking up this morning's _Eressea Inquirer_. I pity the healer who has to explain to King Arafinwe his eldest son's sorry state was caused by excessive indulgence in the bedroom.

Frodo's problems were easily dealt with using a poultice of athelas - any trainee could do that. Surprisingly, the wound seems to be well-healed when I looked at it. However, he did ask about a certain trainee healer. I must report that he was dismayed to learn she was already married and had moved to Tirion. This has been a waste of athelas. Methinks we need a female Hobbit about to occupy young Mister Frodo's attentions. As for his uncle, he needed a cast for that broken shin.

Bilbo also mentioned that we better send someone over to pick up the drunken elf in his cabbage patch. I wonder which one of the mighty lords did not quite make it home last night. I found Fin up in a tree with a beer keg and my own father sleeping it off in the kitchen. Mel will see to that drunken elf on the Baggins' property.

Heard some news from Alqualonde – the Burning Elf Festival is in jeopardy after the unveiling of the effigy last night. Somehow I got to admire the Feanorion cheek. The effigy is of Feanor alright – a very rampant, nude Feanor. Even the normally liberal Teleri and Sindar elves are complaining the sight is too arousing for young elflings. However, couples trying for elflings have taken to climbing up the structure and touching his (ahem) bits for luck given his well-documented virility. Of course, the structure was never made for free-climbing. The highly varnished surface makes finding footholds tricky. Since last night, we have had reports of several instances of serious fall-related injuries.

I am not surprised Ada Maglor and his wife are catching the next ferry to Alqualonde before they demolish that offensive effigy. I hope they are careful. Methinks it will be another long day for me in the healing wards.

Your Ada Elrond

P.S. It was no elf in the cabbage patch. Mel has returned with a hung-over Tuor. I think Idril will not be pleased he spent the entire night out drinking.

**Author's Notes:**

Immortality and idleness causes mischief where the lords of Gondolin are concerned. Yes, Feanor is being very cheeky. The Burning Elf is loosely based on the Burning Man Festival I read about (but with more alcohol and weed).


	6. Healer Heal Thyself I

Galadriel and Glorfindel are up to their old mischief. Work stress gets to Elrond at the House of Healing. Celebrian and gang fear Elrond is grieving and take drastic action without consulting him first.

**Healer Heal Thyself I**

_Fourth Age 10, Tol Eressea_

Dear daughter Arwen

Your naneth is concerned about my continued letter-writing to you and has requested that I be granted special dispensation for a journey to Lorien for Este's healing lest I perish from my grief. Mithrandir agreed after much haranguing to put in a word or two with Lord Manwe.

I assure you I am not grieving. I have come to terms with the fact that you are now of the same Doom as my brother Elros and his descendants and I definitely will not be able to bury you and mourn your passing, or Estel's, or any of your children, grandchildren and so on until Arda breaks. I think your brothers (should they chose the Doom of Elf-kind) might hang about until Estel takes his death – after which I recommend a close watch be placed on the corpse or a quick burial lest they attempt a re-enactment of Aranuir's 'last ride', or trot his corpse about town for his own funeral feast.

Your grandmother Galadriel and Captain Fin were fined by the Avallone town authorities under the Public Decency Act after (ahem) being caught skinny-dipping and then some in the town fountain after the Festivsl of Flowers celebrations. I assure you that such behaviour was the result of too much alcohol and does not in any way reflect on their morals. They are also required to serve 200 hours of charitable work at the House of Healing much to my dismay.

Have you ever seen your Uncle Fin patch anyone up (discounting the times in Imladris we needed his Light of Valinor)? He is a walking health hazard to my patients here. I cannot trust him to dispose of the used bandages without someone tripping down the back stairs later thanks to them. As for your grandmother… I know she means well, but cuddle therapy is not really feasible for grown ellyn – especially if they are already married. Cuddle therapy should be limited to very young elflings only in my opinion. I must really put a stop to this. My healers are reporting increased heart rates and flushing from some of the youths in our care after your grandmother charitably offered her bosom to them as a pillow.

Good Lord Manwe… Now I have a complaint of patient abuse from a patient's wife about my law-mother spanking her spouse for not taking his medicine. Strange, I do not recall any complaints from the ellon involved.

Think now might be a good time to have a breakdown and get a dose of Mithrandir's dream-weed.

Your Ada Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 10, road from Alqualonde_

Dear daughter Arwen

After much debate, I have been granted special clearance to travel to Lorien for some much needed rest and healing. However, I must protest the mode of transportation I have been forced to take. I was not consulted on this. I feel like some felon trapped in this closed carriage. The windows are all nailed shut. Once off Tol Eressea, I am not allowed to step out without a sack over my head. Your nana assures me the measures are to prevent me from being dazzled by the Light of Valinor as we near Valmar. She and Ada Maglor will be travelling with me but outside, in the fresh air and enjoying scenery. Can't complain or I get a dose of that very strong sleeping draught – then I get a lecture in my dreams from Lord Irmo.

Tried pleading with Lord Irmo but he's not relenting. They would have sent Lady Este and her Maiar to Tol Eressea if I had been more cooperative in my own treatment. _Healer, heal thyself, _like they say. I can't help it I was too busy with my patients. Understand Mithrandir had Glorfindel whack me upside the noggin with a herb-pestle before Uncle Maedhros and Fingon had me bundled into this contraption. At least they had Celebrimbor put in a rudimentary privy for my use.

I have a full honour guard of Finrod Felagund, Maglor, Fingon and Maedhros escorting me – on the off-chance I make a break for freedom. I woke up in a dim room in what Celebrian informed me was her grandfather King Olwe's palace kitchen. It stank of root vegetables as it was the root-cellar before Olwe turned it into my guest room. I remained there a week to get over that headache and possible concussion from Fin's pestle before continuing. During that time, King Olwe kindly took us on a tour of the underground cisterns of his palace and a subterranean mineral spring the royal family uses as a bathing pool. It reminded me a good deal of King Thranduil's court in Mirkwood. Learnt some of the survivors of the First Kinslaying had sought refuge in these caverns when the outer palace was overrun. Cue some awkward coughs from Fingon, Maglor and Maedhros. We lost Fin somewhere back in the kitchens where there was that bosomy blond scullery maid with the come-hither look…

Actually, it was quite enjoyable as King Olwe was such a gracious host. Telerin hospitality is uncomparable, I must say. To ensure I was not bored in my room, he had his librarians send me books on Aman's plants and animals as well as some scrolls of lore for my study. He is a master of the chessboard too. It was with great sadness that we parted ways.

The next stage of the journey involved me being driven in this accursed closed carriage and wearing a hood over my head when I disembark at small inns along the way. My rooms are also shuttered up or underground. Think I will turn into a mole before long at this rate. Elves need fresh air and sunshine (or moonlight). Have not seen either in 2 weeks. Don't you think you lot are overdoing it?

Definitely not grieving but seriously irked,

Your Ada Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

I imagine Fin as a bit of a klutz at times off the battlefield or training ground.


	7. Healer Heal Thyself II

The party arrives in Tirion after a rash act by Elrond results in injury. Elrond meets more of his relatives.

**Healer Heal Thyself II**

_Fourth Age 10, Tirion_

Dear Arwen

Praise be to the All-Father. His Majesty Finarfin of Tirion has talked some sense into my uncles and Celebrian. I am no longer required to be shut off like some felon. It is to my regret this has to happen after my attempt to escape resulted in a head-on collision with Thingol's hunting party in the New Tuna Forest outside Tirion. On hindsight, running away from your naneth into some unfamiliar woods was not the brightest idea to occur to me. Hence I am expected to spend another fortnight in the palace of Tirion on Tuna to recover from getting trampled by several elf-horses and Huan the Hound.

Apparently as a sign of goodwill, Thingol extended an invite to Celegorm and the Ambarussa for the stag hunt. Either that or he is giving my uncles Elurin and Elured a chance to prove they are better hunters than the best of the Feanorions. My uncles did not disappoint. I understand from Finarfin that Celegorm is heartbroken after Huan left him for Thingol's great-grandsons. Must be the venison special jerky. In addition, the Feanorion twins were found drunk, stripped to their underpants and bound to a sturdy tree in the Great Square after the night's hunting banquet. Understand from reliable sources that your Sindar grand-uncles are regular tricksters – alas, it would seem that this is an affliction of sorts for Elven twins. Ada Maglor swears Elros and I drove him and Uncle Maedhros to distraction with our pranks and they packed us off to Gil-galad's so that he would have to deal with us instead of them. Fine, I was a bit of a scamp back in the First Age, but the itching powder pants prank was Elros' idea. So was the bucket of snow and the laxative soup. My special recipe did purge your bowels, didn't it?

His Majesty Finarfin has granted me the use of the best guestroom in the palace – I must admit the city is fair in the moonlight. Sunlight is a bit harsh on my eyes after a week of enforced darkness, but it should pass. I am in no condition for a stroll along the streets. Two broken ankles can make walking awkward. I wish I can convey the scale of the beauty of Tirion to you but words fail me. I would say it is to Minas Tirith what a mountain is to a mole-hill.

As a jest, Uncle Maedhros and Fingon were assigned the chambers known as the Honeymoon Suite next to my chambers by Finrod Felagund. Celebrian is a tad upset her uncle then invited several nubile ellyth to join them in there for an all-night party. Calling it an orgy would be overdoing it, methinks. Ada Maglor declined to join the party as he had to prepare a lecture for the Tirion Academy of Music. The last time he was pelted so heavily with tomatoes by the Daeron faction his garments were ruined. I do wish Glorfindel would be more considerate when doing his morning routine. Exercising on the balcony after a bath is fine but at least put on some clothes first. Thingol is kicking up an awful fuss downstairs. Seems his grandsons took off with Finrod last night for some party and have not returned to their rooms in town. Er, I think I just spied the pair sneaking out the back stairs with Finrod's help. Methinks they have been smoking dream-weed.

Arafinwe is writing to request that instead of me travelling to Lorien, it might be more prudent for Lady Este's healers and Maiar to come to the palace to treat me. Once again, I am not grieving. My writing letters to a daughter who will never read them does not mean that I am going insane with grief. I am sure Uncle Maedhros understands what mad really is – oh, you were writing letters to Fingon after the Battle of Unnumbered Tears? Well, at least I use ink still and not blood.

Now seriously questioning my sanity,

Your Ada Elrond Earendilion

**Author's Notes:**

I cannot help imagining the twins as scamps and pranksters. Bet Elrond was quite a terror with his brother Elros as elflings.


	8. Beware of Flying Chair

Elrond gets more than his fill of the sights and sounds of Tirion when he goes on a city tour with his twin uncles. Wheelchairs are not meant to fly. do not attempt this at home or anywhere else for that matter.

**Beware of Flying Chair**

_Fourth Age 10, Tirion_

Dear Arwen

I had the dubious honour of touring Tirion with my twin uncles after Lady Este deemed me healed enough to get some fresh air. Your Nana requested a wheeled chair be crafted for me so that I would not miss out on the sights and sounds of the streets of Tirion – including the Great Square, the White Tree of Tirion and the Central Fountain. She had an appointment to do her hair so I was to spend the afternoon with Elurin and Elured, who are also here for the first time. I realized what the belt on the chair was for when we came to King's Hiccup Street – named for the fit of them which seized King Finwe when he was sketching the street on the city plans.

Did I mention Tirion stands on a hill? The street is twistier and turnier than a snake and at a steep incline. Your granduncles decided that they would ride on the back of my special chair down to the Smashed Gate from the top of the street. Yikes! If I weren't an immortal elf, I think I would have lost a couple of years off my life in those few terrifying minutes. I am sure we cut a few corners as the last time I checked the tourist map, the street does not cut through the Tirion Academy of Music. I caught a glimpse of Ada Maglor having a very spirited disagreement with a colleague who was trying to garrote him with a lute-string. Oh, and we should apologize to Lady Anaire for interrupting her floral spa bath. I think I could prescribe her something for those stretch-marks. I would return her that towel if Elurin had not lost it to a passing lamp post.

I am sure this chair was never meant to fly but we achieved flight outside no. 79 and flew over a street into the Tirion produce market. We landed in a cartful of squash, it being market day. I had to apologize to the nis whose wares we ruined. Thankfully Captain Fin was snuggling with a blond kitchen elleth behind a pile of vegetables nearby. He helped me out of the mess and carried me back to the palace. The wheeled chair was quite ruined.

Elured and Elurin had taken off with their new friends the Ambarussa for some less savory entertainments in the Olde Joke Shoppe. I think we will have to watch ourselves about the palace after this. After a few days of hectic pranking, the twins seem to have become fast friends to the dismay of everyone in the palace. Even kings and princes were not exempt from the pranks. Thingol awoke covered with honey and feathers. Someone put glue on Arafinwe's throne so he had to be cut free of his formal robes after the morning council. Grandfather Dior awoke after his mid-morning cuppa on the rose terrace and naked as a newborn baby. Celegorm had Huan returned to him, dyed neon pink. He later found out someone replaced his shampoo with pink hair dye – the sort that stays for two weeks. I narrowly dodged a cup of laxative tea – being familiar with herbs does help.

This is double the trouble your brothers used to stir up but I fear this is only a foretaste of what is to come. Celebrian's dinnertime anecdotes of your brothers' mischief have quite interested the Elurassa and Ambarussa. Well, the prank involving Uncle Mel and the apple barrels did make for a jolly good tale for the family and guests over dessert. The two pairs of twins have issued a prank challenge to Elladan and Elrohir should they ever set foot on Valinor.

I do not know who I should feel sorry for - your brothers, their challengers, or the rest of us long-suffering elves?

Your Ada Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Yes, the sons and Dior and the Ambarussa have teamed up for a prank challenge when the sons of Elrond come to Valinor.

The King's Hiccup Street is inspired by Lombard Road (San Francisco)


	9. Back on Tol Eressea

Elrond returns to Tol Eressea after being given a clean bill of health by the Valie Este. He is beset by new problems from weed, family bonding and tavern brawls. More headaches for Elrond ahead.

**Back on Tol Eressea**

_Fourth Age 12, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

After a detailed consultation with Lady Este herself, I am allowed to continue my letter-writing as a form of therapy. After enjoying the hospitality of King Arafinwe in Tirion, it was hard for your Nana and I to return to our quiet little cottage on Tol Eressea where we hope to await the arrival of your brothers. Ada Maglor had left Tirion earlier for a performance in Alqualonde with Finrod. They promised King Olwe they would give a lyre and harp recital at the begetting ceremony of his latest great-grandson. Uncle Maedhros and Fingon got bored with Tirion and went camping in the wilds. So it was only Captain Glorfindel who accompanied us back to Tol Eressea.

Your Nana had explored much of Aman with her uncle Finrod during this time. She told me of the mighty Mount Taniquetil and the golden city of the Vanyar at its foot. She also told me of the Gardens of Lorien where Lord Irmo and Lady Este imparted both healing and knowledge to their students. Perhaps I might wish to go there to learn from them some day. Her tales of the beauty of the wilds of Aman has stoked the fires of wanderlust in this old elf and I would like to go on an extended vacation with your Nana. Alas, letters pleading for help from the healers of Tol Eressea meant that I have to postpone my plans indefinitely. The matrons of the island do not look kindly on hanky-panky in the dispensary. If I could, I would send for Lord Celeborn to keep your lusty grandmother in check.

I have lodged a complaint with Mithrandir over his promotion of recreational weed to the neighbours after Master Bilbo set his Hobbit-hole aflame after falling asleep while smoking in bed. It was fortunate his nephew was still sober enough to drag him out to safety. Our Maia promised his next crop would have less side-effects. Oh, Your Uncle Mel has become the unwitting recipient of a batch of weed brownies courtesy of the Baggins and is running about Avallone market square in the nude. I bet Imladris is a lot more peaceful in comparison now, unless your brothers have burned it to the ground in some jape gone wrong.

Oh Merciful Manwe! I think the Lords of Gondolin just got into the damned brownies too. I see the lot of them streaking past the gate led by my great-grandfather Turgon. I really do not need to see a once High-King in that way, ever.

Your Ada Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 14, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Awoke this morning as a patient in the House of Healing, aching all over. Allow me to try piecing together from the muddled fragments of my memory what happened last night.

Your Nana insisted that I try to patch things up with my parents Earendil and Elwing, who were here in the House of Healing undergoing some serious marriage counseling from Melian. The consultation did not quite work out since Melian keeps siding with Elwing and Earendil kept fretting about leaving his precious ship with his mostly rookie crew since his experienced First Mate has claimed time off in 5 yeni to beget an elfling with his wife.

My parents' marital woes aside, your Nana had the cook whip up a tasty seafood luncheon for them. I have always considered myself a capable diplomat – have I not dealt with the many visiting dignitaries of Arnor and Gondor, and many more since? Yet words failed me as we sat through the most awkward meal ever. Earendil and Elwing were not speaking to each other. Your Nana was tittering on about dresses and roses, anything to try and spark some talk and I was more interested in catching my lobster. I think the cook got the wrong memo. The oysters were meant to be served live, not the lobsters. I called Mel to help catch all the fleeing lobsters so that we can dunk them in a pot of boiling water.

Of course, being soft-hearted elves, the sight of dying lobsters had Elwing and your Nana in tears. They were not screaming in agony. It's the sound of air escaping as their shells pop open. Er, that does sound better, doesn't it? The ladies fled when Earendil found the mallet and started cracking the shells of the still live lobsters to serve them raw, a type of cuisine he had picked up during his travels – called it lobster sashimi. To be honest, I felt a wee bit bad for the lobsters but hey, we eat oysters live off the half-shell all the time. The horseradish sauce accompaniment was a bit of a surprise though.

After dinner, Earendil offered to take me about the taverns of Avallone for some father-son bonding. It was either that or a year-long stint on the Vingilot. Well, I took the taverns. In the _Shipwright's Wife_, we found a number of Lords of Gondolin playing pin the tail on the donkey, the donkey being played by my out-cold Cousin Maeglin. I think he might need to drop in and have his bottom patched up after the drink wears off. I doubt having rusty nails stabbed into your ass is healthy. Shocked to find out how bad the pipeweed problem has become in the taverns. The place reeked like Bilbo's room, only worse. The spirits served there could eat through a Balrog's skin.

At the _White Sail_, we met Frodo, who has taken on a bartending job. He seemed to be getting loads of attention from the ellyth. The wine there was less harsh than in the _Shipwright._ I could sip my drink without choking. However, my father-son time was cut short when my uncles Elured and Elurin popped up to have a discussion with Earendil over making their baby sister cry, using their fists and spiked clubs. They had been directed to us after setting the _Shipwright _alight, which explained why Cousin Maeglin is in the bed next to mine with third degree burns (at least his friends got him out).

There were angry words, shoving and then punches. Someone must have conked me on the head in the medley as I have a nasty bump there. Captain Fin just dropped by to inform me that Lady Melian has taken custody of her wayward great-grandsons and made reparations to the owners of businesses on Avallone's Harbor Street, which had been razed by the fire started at the _Shipwright_. She would be taking the twins home to be grounded for the next yeni or so. Earendil spent the night in the lock-up for rioting but had to be released after the Vingilot ran aground on Mount Taniquetil due to an inept crew under the influence at the helm. Someone sneaked the sailors some of Mithrandir's dream-weed. Methinks Lord Manwe is far from amused.

I hope your life as Queen of Gondor and Arnor is less tumultuous than mine. I must congratulate you on your children, whom I am sure take after their naneth in both beauty and wisdom. Mel heard the news from some new elves from Mithlond last week while collecting my books. Too bad Lord Cirdan did not put them in a waterproof crate so we had to dry them out on the lawn.

Your Ada Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

That is probably not what Earendil had in mind for father-son bonding. The twins Elured and Elurin are real hellions. The Valar might just want to ban Mithrandir's special weed from Aman after the Vingilot incident.


	10. Lords up a Tree

Lady Aredhel goes Mama Bear on the Lords of Gondolin for picking on her little boy. Elrond finds himself becoming a foster-father yet again.

**Lords up a Tree**

_Fourth Age 20, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Just when I thought I am done with letter writing, I must put pen to paper to capture this little incident for posterity. I trust your brothers and grandfather will find it a hoot. I have already sent Mel's sketch to be engraved into a woodcut to accompany the piece. Here goes…

I don't think I have mentioned it yet but we have a lovely cherry tree outside the gate. Well, we had one but I will get back to it later.

According to Celebrimbor (who has his forge next door), Lady Aredhel made an unannounced visit to the _Lord of Arms _tavern and chanced upon several Lords of Gondolin partaking of some fun with her son. I seriously doubt Cousin Maeglin enjoyed being used as a living, spinning dartboard but I might be mistaken. Aredhel was not amused. Celebrimbor should count his lucky stars she did not find out who made that giant wheel her boy was tied to. The lords paid him well for that job but not well enough to warn them when Maeglin's naneth is in town.

Remember that black bear we ran into back in spring T.A. 263 during that family picnic? Remember how your Nana smacked the poor beastie about for making you cry? We had the bear-rug until Elladan set fire to it by accident during that state dinner for the Arnorian envoys.

So we have Aredhel screaming and waving a pitchfork about as she chased after the lords. The taverner required visitors to surrender their weapons but Celebrimbor did happen to have some sharp farming implements for sale outside his forge. The lords scrambled up the cherry tree – Lords Duilin, Penlod, Salgant, Rog, Elgamoth, Galdor and your Uncle Fin. Lord Salgant was a tad slow in climbing up and would not be sitting down for the next couple of days. Lord Manwe, you should hear him squeal like a piglet! Lord Galdor proved himself worthy of his title as Lord of the House of the Tree by shimming to the very top, followed by Duilin of the Swallow and Penlod of the Pillar and Tower of Snow. Captain Glorfindel lagged behind to help his buddy Egalmoth. Rog was trying to calm the White Lady down but it was not working.

It is highly fortunate Great-grandfather Turgon and Grandfather Tuor were out on that fishing trip with Lord Ecthelion and Ada Maglor. I doubt the tree could take any more lords up there. Your naneth gave me a heads' up and told me to prepare the medicine chest and bandages. The lords thought they got a reprieve when Aredhel threw away the pitchfork. Then she strolled over to the Baggins' yard to 'borrow' their axe.

Ignoring the pleas of the lords, she swung that axe like a professional woodcutter and it was 'Timber!' Our cherry tree is now cherry-firewood. The tree crashed right atop of the Hobbit Hole and I suspect may have had a part in the sudden demise of Mister Baggins Sr. as he took his afternoon constitutional. Having Lord Duilin crashing through your skylight while you are on the potty could do that. We will miss the old Hobbit but he has had a more than full life. Mithrandir already explained to us that mortals in the Undying Lands would not get immortality unless they have some special Doom on them (like Grandfather Tuor).

Lord Galdor wound up stuck head-first in the chimney of the Baggins' place while Penlod ended up astride the picket fence (ouch!). Rog and Salgant both got pinned under the trunk. At least Captain Fin and Elgamoth had a soft landing. They landed in the compost heap. We sent Mel off to fetch Frodo from the harbourmaster's where he has taken on a job as a clerk.

Frodo is upset, naturally. However, he is putting a brave face on it. He is pulling us and Mithrandir in to help plan a fancy funeral for his uncle. There will be feasting, dancing and music – while he will pick out a nice spot for his uncle's grave with space for his nearby. I guess you cannot get a Hobbit down. I believe Lady Aredhel will help pay for the damage to the Baggins' place once she cools down, hopefully.

Have a funeral to help plan.

Your Ada Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 20, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

I do not understand how I allowed myself to get talked into this – I am fostering Cousin Maeglin after much persuasion by Aunt Aredhel (mostly involving a pitchfork waved in the face). After 15 generations of fostering Mannish boys I thought I would have earned a break by now. I do not understand why Mel has handed in his resignation in favour of hauling nets on a Telerin shrimping boat.

I think you would have read the First Age histories concerning Gondolin's fall and Cousin Maeglin's part in it. I do not know how I can relate the scheming villain of the tale with the ellon who looks like a kicked puppy now sheltering under my roof. I have given Glorfindel firm instructions he is not to take Maeglin out to taverns where his mates might be hanging out. I am considering if Celebrimbor might need an extra pair of hands at his forge given what Aredhel told me of her son's interests in smithing. I doubt making farm tools and fancy jewelry share much in common but I might be mistaken.

Alternatively, we could train Maeglin as our chamberlain given the new vacancy with Mel's departure. I hope he is alright with it. I have been watching his Nana fussing over him like some elfing on his first day at Avallone Elementary Schoolhouse, for the last two hours. I can't blame her for being protective but he is a grown ellon after all. I wonder if I should allow Captain Fin to give him some arms training, or perhaps not. I do not know how he would fare as a healer but I will take him with me as an aide the next time I go to the House of Healing. Or perhaps I should wait until Lord Penlod and the others are discharged after their escapade up the cherry tree yesterday.

Your naneth is glad to have someone to fuss over, too. Don't understand why your Grandmother has just dropped by to check out Cousin Maeglin and came to blows with Aunt Aredhel. Well, perhaps Aredhel took offence at her son being referred to as a weedy excuse for an elf. What was it with measuring his biceps? Perhaps Lady Galadriel just wanted to have a shirt made for Cousin Maeglin. We have to do something about his wardrobe – gloomy black is so dreary. Your Nana is thinking something bright – like sky-blue or forest green. I must try to restrain your naneth lest Maeglin be rendered a laughing-stock. He is a quiet, soft-spoken ellon and painfully polite (in a quaint First Age way). One need not address the lady of the house as Lady now we are not Lord and Lady of Imladris but he does it all the same. Methinks he needs to get out more.

Seriously feeling awkward,

Your Ada Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Yep, Figwit has had it with babysitting. Do you think shrimp fishery is any easier, Figwit?


	11. Bilbo's Last Party

It is time for Bilbo Baggins' funeral and his nephew is giving him one big send-off. Hobbits love a good party with good music and food.

**Bilbo's Last Party**

_Fourth Age 20, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

We have just attended what is possibly the most joyous funeral ever in Aman (not that we have that many precedents). Apparently, the Hobbit way is to celebrate the life of the dearly departed. In this case, Mister Frodo paid homage to his uncle's love of good music and food by enlisting the services of the Alqualonde Music Academy and the best cooks on the island. Ada Maglor is a little taken aback by the festive air – he informed me the last funeral he attended in Aman was his grandfather Finwe's and it was a very solemn affair (with the Darkening and all).

We had Bilbo laid out on a bier in the parlour, dressed in his best suit and with a pipe stuck in his mouth and a bag of pipeweed in his vest. Had to stop Mithrandir from lighting up his old friend's pipe as Hobbits do not believe in cremation, unlike the Noldor. In deference to Elvish custom, Frodo had Ada Maglor compose a ballad of our stalwart Hobbit adventurer to be played on the harp. Went well until Mithrandir let loose his firework dragon – after which Ada Maglor threw down his harp and dove into the Baggins' duck pond to put out the flames on his robe. Everyone thought it was part of the show but I needed to treat my Ada for burns. He will have to wear a hood until his hair grows back. Celebrian has done what she could with a pair of sewing scissors.

Bilbo was loaded onto a pony cart and brought to his gravesite for prayers and burial before everyone returned for the funeral feast and dance. It's a real pity Captain Fin had to sit the dancing out thanks to his broken ankle but the rest of the attendees danced a merry jig on the lawn to the accompaniment of fiddle, harmonica and accordion. I never knew Frodo played the harmonica so well.

We brought Maeglin along and were glad when he finally deigned to join the dance with your Nana. Grandmother Idril and Grandfather Tuor came to pay their last respects to Tuor's fishing buddy. When Maeglin saw Idril, he tried to ask her to join him for the next dance. Idril agreed but Tuor protested by grabbing Cousin Maeglin by the collar and dunking his head in the punch bowl. He also slipped me a few words of warning to watch Maeglin as he is drawn to blond, slender, motherly types like Idril and your Nana. Methinks I should ask Celebrian to stop dancing for a bit and help me restock the meat-pies from the kitchen. We need some extra help without Mel about.

Lady Galadriel is asking if I will like to join the local dance club so that I may partner your Nana for future dances. Your Nana always has been a keen dancer. Hm, perhaps I should encourage Maeglin to attend the dance sessions where I understand there are many single, motherly ellyth. Perhaps he might find his soul-mate there and quit annoying my grandfather.

My day off was interrupted when an urgent message came from the harbourmaster. There has been a nasty accident on a shrimping vessel. Some rookie deckhand got snagged in the nets. Surprised to see it is Mel, or perhaps I should not be. Never knew Mel to have sea legs. I can slot his cot in between Lords Salgant and Penlod after we are done stitching him up.

Must hurry off,

Your loving Ada Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Meddlesome Mithrandir strikes again.


	12. Maeglin Must Die

Maeglin has a thing for fair-haired, motherly elleth and Elrond feels threatened. The family goes on a trip to Tirion. Maeglin's interest in his 'foster-mom' starts to seriously irk Elrond.

**Maeglin Must Die**

_Fourth Age 22, Tirion_

Dear Arwen

After much careful consideration, the situation at home cannot continue as it was. I knew agreeing to foster a grown ellon was asking for trouble. Our fosterling seemed to have developed an unhealthy fixation on your Nana. Sure, the little gifts of flowers and ribbons were sweet at first, but love poems were taking it too far. I had a little talk with Gildor Inglorion about his tutoring Maeglin on his poetry. Apparently Cousin Maeglin has exceeded his tutor's expectations to becoming a real charmer with the words. Poetry can charm an elleth, as I trust you know from those love letters Estel kept sending you while he's away. Yes, I knew about those doves, and Estel is a middling word-smith. Lindir had to correct his shocking spelling. Stalking an elleth only brings the wrath of the City Watch and her adar on you. I regret to say your Nana seems to be falling for Cousin Maeglin's sweet words. It's not that I have little faith in your Nana but tongues are starting to wag - nothing like a bit of malicious gossip to liven things up for us bored elves.

I am sad to admit my thoughts about Cousin Maeglin are less than kind now. I have on more than one occasion thought of slipping him an extra something in his food to keep him away from your Nana, perhaps one of your brothers' laxatives or a lovely sleeping draught? Must resist the urge to toss a chamberpot in his direction when he is serenading your Nana under our bedroom window. There is a point when it is obvious his intents are not so innocent. A less restrained ellon would have gone out with a sword to speak with him about paying improper attentions to his wife.

I do not know how I let Captain Fin talk me into this – a trip for the entire household to Tirion on the pretext of visiting family. Hopefully we could unload Maeglin onto his grandparents or his nana. Understand from rumours that Aunt Aredhel has been living her second life to the max, throwing wild parties in her parents' place or riding out on hunts for weeks on end with various ellyn. She's not going to keep house for anyone ever again after her first husband. If they are not keen on having Maeglin about the place, Fin assured me we could arrange for an accident on the White Tower while dear Cousin Maeglin is admiring the view from the top. However, methinks it is more likely Mel will be making the plunge given his propensity for accidents.

Oh, your Uncle Mel is behaving like an elfling in a candy-store. This is his first time in Tirion and he is utterly blown away by the place. Tried to stop him from running up to Prince Aegnor to get his autograph on a copy of the _Romance of Aegnor and Andreth_. I doubt Aegnor would like to revisit that tragic romance of his first life. Neither would his Vanya wife and their brood of young ones. Oh, your Uncle Mel was stopped from ruining the family's day out by a runaway cart of turnips. He would be as good as new once his broken leg heals. I wonder why Finrod was seen running away from the scene after the accident and sent Mel a fruit basket before he even got assigned a cot in the city's House of Healing.

We also ran into your grandmother in the city. Methinks she feels your Nana is bored with me and needs more spice in her life, even if it is from her 'foster-son'. Found out from Fin lady Galadriel passed two tickets to the opera to Cousin Maeglin for him and your Nana. Thankfully Fin managed to help me get a seat in the Tirion Royal Opera House next to your Nana for Finrod Felagund's latest opera _The Tragedy of Miriel of Numenor._ Fin then took Maeglin out during the interval for some 'refreshments', which probably involved a dunking in the city's Central Fountain. As much as I would not have minded it, we could not actually drown him as that would be a Kinslaying (unfortunately true on all counts).

We called on Prince Nolofinwe and his wife's place the next morning only to find they were both out at their country estate for the season, whatever that means. Eru willing, they would keep away until someone cleaned up their home. Finding the door ajar, we stumbled on Aunt Aredhel drunk as a skunk in the main hall – nasty shock for Maeglin, seeing his naneth carrying on like she was with those three ellyn – Wait, they look very familiar… Holy Manwe! She was snogging Celegorm, Curufin and Finrod Felagund… Somehow I am not surprised to find dear Uncle Finrod in the midst of an orgy of drunken debauchery. Aredhel is one hot, lusty elleth despite everything.

Being of delicate sensibilities, Celebrian took off as fast as she could, thankfully before your grandmother came in from the parlor with Uncle Glorfindel - both as nude as the day they were born. And I thought Fin was visiting his parents this morning! Not very proud to admit it but I left Cousin Maeglin with his naneth to let her explain what was going on. Methinks his fea looks set to flee for Mandos from the shock and hopefully lock the door behind him.

Utterly embarrassed,

Your loving Ada Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 22, Tirion_

Dear Arwen

The Valar have answered my prayers. After the shock of finding his Nana in a state of disarray with her lovers, Maeglin has informed us today that he would be applying to Lord Aule's Mansions for further studies to perfect his smith-work. He has also received news from his Nana that his father has been reborn and is currently working there while waiting for their union to be officially dissolved. Aredhel is an adherent of the free-love lifestyle popularized in recent yeni by Finrod and she isn't going to stop cuckolding her husband with half of Tirion if the mood takes her. Which of course is utterly unacceptable to Eol.

While waiting for his application to Lord Aule's Mansion to be approved, Maeglin has requested that he be allowed to stay with his grandparents on their quiet little country estate. Personally, I think Maeglin is too embarrassed about his Nana's behavior to continue living with us, not that I seems Maeglin was not too thrilled to learn that his naneth has also been sharing her favours with some of his fellow Lords from Gondolin since their re-birth. Fin mentioned it will be more of a shock when he gets to his grandparents' and meets his five half-siblings for the first time. Understand there were at least two sons each by Lords Elgamoth and Duilin, and a daughter by either Celegorm or Finrod. They could not be certain who the blond hair came from. Lady Aredhel has a lacklustre attitude towards birth control and child-rearing (except for her eldest, apparently). Prince Fingolfin has decided to raise his baseborn grandchildren by his daughter as if they were his own.

Must go offer thanks to the Valar,

Your Ada Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Well, Aredhel is making up for all those lost years in Gondolin, Nam Elmoth and Mandos by going utterly wild and Figwit's accident may not be that accidental.


	13. Spirit of Fire

The Feanorions try to one-up the Vingilot in cool factor (or terror factor). Elrond meets Feanor for the first time. Enough said.

**Spirit of Fire**

_Fourth Age 30, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

After months of peaceful existence on Tol Eressea – interrupted by the occasional weed-poisoning and drunken shenanigans, our quiet life was interrupted by news of the arrival of a famous historical personage. Of course, infamous will be a more accurate description of the ellon involved. Poor Mel was mightily disturbed by the tidings and has locked himself in the linen closet. Various elves were spotted fleeing for the hills with the same earnest terror one would normally associate with flight from a Balrog.

Ada Maglor loped over to our place to forewarn us. The Teleri ban on Feanor Finwion entering their city has recently been lifted by King Olwe as a further sign of goodwill to the Noldor. Ada Maglor managed to persuade His Majesty to allow his brothers into the city sometime about the end of the Third Age, chaperoning them about to ensure their good behaviour. Feanor and sons have decided to make use of this opportunity to visit Tol Eressea. Naturally, no Teleri captain would allow Feanor on his vessel but this hiccup was easily solved between Feanor and his son Curufin by building a vessel of their own. Apparently they were given access to the library in Tirion which also held several scrolls on basic shipbuilding.

Maglor confessed the fire-breathing dragon figurehead was a bit over the top. There were a few unfortunate accidents during the sea trials off Araman – some poor fishermen's boats got sunk. So we have a fire-breathing dragon ship moored in the harbour and probably terrifying the fear out of all callers to Avallone. Somehow I am not too surprised. They tried to make it fly but the contraption simply refused to take off. Feanor is working on designing something called airships with his son now. Oh, they named their fearsome vessel the _Spirit of Fire_. Methinks Feanor is a narcissistic prig. I hope they did not set fire to the harbourfront. We just had it rebuilt after Fin's impromptu Mettare fireworks show while high on weed.

Maglor had not finished when Feanor showed up and gave an unwanted bear-hug to his foster grandson – me. I think I might have broken a rib or two. Feanor is a large elf, just like Fingolfin. Unlike my forefather, he has arm muscles like steel bands from all that forge work. He just invited me, no, practically ordered me to visit the family at Formenos on his vessel. Seems Curufin and his team have built a tunnel for a horseless carriage system through the base of the Pelori so that they could bypass Tirion and the pass when they wish to visit the seaside. Calling on old King Olwe was only a concession to Maglor.

Then there are the rest of the Feanorions. Ada Maglor went to inform Maedhros that their adar has arrived, leaving us at the mercies of Feanor and his younger sons. I still recall their last visit to Tol Eressea with a shudder. I think it would be safe if I keep them all in my sight at all times under the pretext of writing a letter, which Feanor agreed I should. Celebrian has just gone off to the kitchen to prepare more food for our unexpected guests. Wish Fin was not locked up still for his firework stunt. Twins mucking about with a sack…

Feeling uneasy,

Elrond

P.S. Feanor just asked me to bid my wife goodbye as we are leaving now – wait, I did not agree to leave with you!

_(Amras and Amrod pounce on Elrond with the sack and ropes as Curufin raps Elrond over the head with a cosh. The Feanorions hightail it out with Elrond in the sack before Celebrian returns, Celegorm pausing to pin Elrond's letter to the table with a knife as an afterthought.)_

* * *

_Fourth Age 30, the sea off Araman (I hope)_

Dear Arwen

I am writing this letter from the deck of the _Spirit of Fire_ off the coast of Araman. Awoke to find myself stashed in the hold with the Feanorions' other 'guests', having lost about 2 days of my eternal life. Also on board are Aredhel and her brother Fingon, both having been convinced by Celegorm and Maedhros to make the journey. The siblings are now having a game of shuffleboard with Huan and the twins.

Curufin has collared his son from his forge and is attempting to convince him to move to Formenos where his skills as a smith would be put to better use than making common farm-tools. Celebrimbor seems awfully wary of his father and uncles and is nursing a nasty bump on his head while tied to the mast. Seems he tried to dive off the side earlier to swim for shore.

Tied to the mast with Celebrimbor is a bound and gagged Finrod Felagund. Finrod looks quite battered. Feanor not happy one of his sons had been cuckolded. Ada Maglor is trying to tell Feanor he agreed to have his wife impregnated by his cousin after too many encounters with orc poisons in Ennor had rendered him hopelessly infertile. Luckily, Nana Linde and the children were visiting family in Alqualonde when Feanor came into town. Feanor might need more convincing before he frees his nephew. Do not like the plank Celegorm has hooked up over the side.

I seriously hoped the Feanorions did not cause too much alarm snatching Celebrimbor, Finrod, and me from Tol Eressea the way they did. Having Lord Ulmo and his Maiar interrupt our cruise would not be a good thing.

I must say that the vessel is remarkably steady in the water and spacious to boot. Found a heated bath in the hold and a well-stocked galley. Grabbed a few cupcakes there and surprised Caranthir in the kitchen. He was helping out with frosting the cake – while wearing a pink lacy apron. Ran into Cousin Maeglin who was the vessel's chief engineer. He showed me about. The entire thing runs on some tar-rock stuff which burns with a foul smell Maeglin confessed is reminiscent of Angband's pits. They were still working on that particular problem.

On the upside, Maeglin claimed that he built up a wonderful relationship with his father and half-siblings by Lady Aredhel before he was hired by Feanor on this project. Two of his younger brothers are just starting their basic studies with Lord Aule with Eol as their mentor. On top of it, he was recently engaged to a lovely elleth, our cook. Riniel is not exactly what I would expect as Maeglin's type. She has the physique of a Marchwarden and a shock of red hair – apparently Caranthir lost to her at arm-wrestling and the forfeit was to prepare a cake and serve it to the entire crew dressed in a lacy apron, or he could settle for concussion by rolling-pin.

Managed to get a few words with Feanor, who grudgingly admitted that he meant to invite me to Formenos to see to his lady in my capacity as a healer. A bit miffed he had to knock me unconscious in the process. He could have asked nicely. Seems Nerdanel has been showing the signs of a normal pregnancy until the eighth month, after which she had taken to her bed with exhaustion. Given her age and the interval since her last childbearing, this has caused concern to her family. I am not so petty as not to agree to see her just because she is of the House of Feanor! Still, a Maia from Lorien would have been of better help. Plus, Lorien is so much nearer, I think.

No sign of any Great Eagles or Ulmo's Maiar yet. Thank Eru. I guess I will just have to wait until we reach our destination. I hope this trip is uneventful.

Oh, Celebrimbor has just fainted. Signs indicate a possible skull fracture with bleeding in the brain. What? Curufin, you did not have to hit him with his own mallet! Untie Finrod – we will need him as my assistant as I cut a hole in the patient's head to relieve the pressure – someone get Curufin off me! I have done this operation before in Ennor. Trust me on this one!

Apologies, my skills are needed urgently.

Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Feanor and his younger sons need to work on their social skills, especially how to invite people without knocking them out first.

This is an AU where everyone, including Feanor gets out of Mandos well before Dagor Dagorath. Oh, and the Formenians might have invented the first railway and tunnel system in Aman.


	14. Arriving at Formenos

Elrond arrives in Formenos after Celebrimbor is stabilized and attends to Feanor's wife. Along the way he learns some truths about his family.

**Arriving at Formenos**

_Fourth Age 30, somewhere on the Araman coast_

Dear Arwen

I wonder how the Formenians have managed to undertake such a massive undertaking without anyone noticing. Perhaps because everyone thinks Araman is a barren, chilly coast. Or it was the same thing as in Nervast when Turgon took off with two-fifths of the Eldar population to build Gondolin.

There is a small settlement of rude shacks on shore hiding the wonder of a sheltered harbour cut back into the cliffs. They use the shacks as a rustic seaside getaway- the bulk of the settlement is nestled inside the cliff itself. Curufin has created some highly energetic substance from Mithrandir's fireworks which could put a Balrog to shame. They had blasted a tunnel through the base of the Pelori range with it.

Feanor assures us that the rock structure is sound and there is no danger of the roof falling in on us. Strategic skylights also allow light and fresh air into the complex. The entire thing is reminiscent of a Dwarf Hall. They even have sheltered gardens for crops. Spotted small orange trees on terraces in the cave. Feanorian lamps and crystals provide light where needed.

We have been invited to spend the night in the Aerie, an inn run by Curufin's wife, before embarking on the journey to Formenos. She made Feanor promise not to throw Finrod Felagund off the top floor while admiring the view. So he is settling for chaining his nephew under the dining table like a dog for the night. Curufin's wife insisted we send word back to Tol Eressea to reassure our family and friends. She seems a sensible, calm nis. I wonder if- Oh, Curufin's wife is not amused we had to punch a hole in her son's skull to save his life. She is chasing Curufin about with a broom. Celebrimbor's condition stable for now. Araman has a respectable Hall of Healing where he may continue his recovery under his nana's care.

Understand that prosthetic limbs are crafted here to aid elves who have lost limbs through accidents or warfare. This seems to be a pet project of Uncle Maedhros in particular. Met an elf who had lost his hand in a premature detonation during the tunnel works. Amazed at the dexterity of his metal hand. He is an orderly in the healing halls now and is capable of sorting out the medical herbs and suturing wounds with ease.

Speechless with awe

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 30, somewhere on the high plains of the inner Pelori_

Dear Arwen

The ride from Araman under the Pelori is a harrowing experience I have no wish to repeat ever. Cousin Maeglin assured us this horseless carriage was entirely safe despite the unearthly whistling, choking smoke and spewing flames. Easy for him to say as he did not have to ride on the iron beast. Once more like with the ship, they are still working on the problems caused by burning of coal to power the engine. Give your adar a horse any day. I felt as though I was in Barad-dur's pits. Was heartily sick, as were Fingon and Aredhel, before Feanor gave instructions to distribute the masks to protect us against the fumes.

It was with great relief that we emerged into fresh air on the other side of the Pelori where a stable of horses are kept for the use of the Formenians. Apparently we will be proceeding in the traditional manner as not to alarm anyone. That would be two to three days' riding by Ada Maglor's estimate.

A peaceful ride through the pine woods and high meadows. Feanor seems to have forgiven Finrod. He is allowing him to ride before him on the saddle. No chains or ropes about Finrod's wrists now. Conversation seems almost cordial. I guess it must have been that private chat in the last carriage before we all disembarked. I do wonder why Finrod Felagund is limping so much, or why Feanor has his hands all over – Oh, Ada Maglor tells me not to think too much of it. It's just Finrod using his Valar-granted charms to get out of a tight spot.

Caught off-guard by the chill of the night on these high plains. Feanor gets dibs on the warm spot closest to the campfire. Restless Fingon and Maedhros sharing a bed roll and making loads of noises. The twins are snuggling up with Caranthir. Curufin, Celegorm have taken off behind some bushes with their cousins for privacy. Don't want to speculate on why Finrod's breeches and Aredhel's chemise is doing on the bush. Ada Maglor making some jest about Uncle Finrod having a hard time sitting in the saddle tomorrow as he feeds Huan some leftovers.

Am shivering – oh, Ada Maglor suggested we share our blankets to keep warm, but that would not be decent would it? True, Elros and I would climb into your bed as elfings, but that was two Ages past…

Oh to Morgoth with it, sharing a cosy blanket with my foster father is better than frostbite. Oh, Huan is joining us for the warmth. How nice. I have dog slobber on my shirt now.

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 30, Formenos_

Dear Arwen

We have finally arrived in Formenos this evening. There is no delicate way of phrasing what I have learnt by the end of this ride.

First, Uncle Finrod is open to short-term carnal entertainment with anyone, including Feanor. I chanced upon them making love in the creek yesterday morning while fetching water and lost my desire for making my morning cup of tea. Oh, and Finrod is surprisingly limber even for an elf. Next, Uncle Maedhros and Fingon are in a long-term, committed relationship. They could not keep their hands off each other. Oh, and Uncle Fingon is very vocal in bed. The rest of Ada Maglor's brothers, Lady Aredhel and Finrod are shameless libertines open to open-air orgies under the stars, bushes or not.

How in Mordor does that one work out? We know the Haradrim chieftains have more than one wife at a time but how do six ellyn and an elleth work out? Lucky thing Maeglin decided to remain in Araman tinkering with the _Spirit of Fire's _engines. I seriously hope Feanor was not involved in that particular orgy. I doubt Fingolfin would be pleased his brother is banging his little girl. A bit surprised we did not have the Great Eagles come down on us, or they might just enjoy watching. Ew, Amras just said something about Caranthir riding a goat. Oh, my bad. You didn't mean he rode the goat that way.

Arwen, I must confessed that when confronted with the lax morals of our kin in Aman, I am terribly embarrassed. It would seem that the lauded Elven fidelity in marriage is a purely Vanyarin ideal. Maglor assures me that he believes in that ideal despite his on-off threesome with Finrod. King Turgon never so much as ogled an elleth after losing his wife on the Ice (that dubious camping trip with Uncle Finrod does not count).

Arwen and Estel – please stay faithful to each other. I doubt the Gondorians or the Dunedean can handle infidelity in their royal couple. It would raise too many awkward questions where your heirs are concerned.

The twins volunteered to bring me to their Nana while Feanor and Curufin drag Finrod off to the forge for some special attention. Lady Nerdanel is indeed suffering from exhaustion, probably due to her age and the fact that she is not carrying one, or even two elflings. I distinctly heard three tiny heartbeats in there. Of course, there is the high risk of premature birth in these cases as observed among Mannish mothers. I fear I must send word to your Nana to inform her I need to remain in Formenos for a while until my patient is safely delivered of her children.

Your loving Ada

Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

The Feanorians are probably the most technologically advanced of the elves in Aman - railroads, steamships and possible airships in the works. Of course Maedhros would be interested in prosthetic development given his past as an amputee.

Elrond is finally putting words to the free-love attitudes of his elders. Sorry if Finrod comes across as a whore.


	15. Happy Yestare, Feanor

The Feanorians welcome new members into the clan.

Feanor is in shock and Nerdanel is not amused.

**Happy Yestare, Feanor**

_Fourth Age 30, Formenos_

Dear Arwen

Ada Maglor has given me his old room so that I may be near my patient. I must complain about the draughts there. I know he hasn't been to Formenos in a while but still… One would expect his family or the servants to take better care of his room. The bed curtains have been eaten by moths. There is a colony of mice in the mattress. The roof leaks when it rains. In Formenos, it rains every other day and the hails every other week. It makes winter in Fornost look like a summer vacation at times. Ada Maglor was bunking with his twin brothers – until the pair dyed his hair bright green one night. Now he is sleeping by the hearth in the kitchen – where it is dry and toasty. I think I am envious now.

I have settled into Formenos the best I can over the past fortnight as I tend to Lady Nerdanel. Carrying a child is hard for a nis her age, what more three. I have filled her chambers with the scent of athelas to lighten her spirit. Great care must be taken to shield her from draughts. A soothing foot massage does wonders too. She is currently in her tenth month and complaining of the feistiness of her unborn offspring. It seems they were playing football in her womb. Amused to hear her telling Feanor this will be the last time he could hope to get a child off her during one of her bad mornings.

Feanor is a devoted husband, so I hear from the servants. He has been taking great care to see to his wife's needs since the early months of the pregnancy – including launching a raid on King Ingwe's orangery for Valmarian red oranges when Nerdanel had a serious hankering for the fruit in her third month. Er, wouldn't a polite request to the high king been a friendlier way of going about it instead of breaking into someone's greenhouse? Still, the oranges make delicious marmalade. Her sons have been considerate to a fault of their Nana's well-being. Curufin sent up a portable stove so as to keep the room warm. Maglor sings soothing songs to ease her. The others brought little gifts for her to cheer her up.

Nerdanel growing increasingly testy as her due date nears. Maedhros has taken Fingon and his sister up to the lake for a trout fishing getaway. Celegorm and the twins going with them. Curufin hastening back to Araman to be with his family. Caranthir? I think he is around the fortress somewhere. Feanor murmured something about checking the vaults, seeing one of the twins' favourite pranks is to lock up a sibling down there, gagged and bound, for the servants to trip over when fetching wine. He has roped in Ada Maglor and Uncle Finrod to aid him.

There was some unhappiness when Feanor brought out all their sons' old toys from the Years of the Trees. Perhaps Nerdanel would like her babies to have something newer. Feanor promised her to craft a model of that horseless carriage for his unborn offspring.

On the upside, Nerdanel is starting to rally under my care. She is back on her feet although I would advise her against leaving the room and tackling those steep stairs. We look forward to welcoming three new additions to the family.

Your loving Ada

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 31 Yestare, Formenos_

Dear daughter Arwen

Formenos is in an uproar. The only reason why we are not in the middle of a Kinslaying is thanks to Ada Maglor's good sense. We have Feanor shut up in the vaults with Finrod for now. Hopefully Finrod will keep him distracted enough to forget about kinslaying. Maglor has sent urgent word to Maedhros and his grandfather Finwe. Hopefully, Finwe could talk sense into Feanor. Yeah, I forgot to mention earlier that Finwe has returned from Mandos but he is enjoying the carefree life of not being king in Valmar with his two wives – Indis and Miriel. They are the only officially sanctioned threesome in Valmar as Ingwe refused to have his sister kicked out of the city for 'sinful' behaviour. Indis insisted she would leave if he kicked her husband and sister-wife out too.

The problem started on Mettare morning when Nerdanel felt well enough to make a visit to her husband's forge without my supervision. Unfortunately, she encountered Feanor and Finrod there. I know a virile ellon like Feanor has his needs but surely there has to be a more discreet way of dealing with them instead of ploughing your nephew before breakfast. The shock of the discovery brought on premature labour in my patient. Feanor had to carry her back upstairs to her room while Finrod fetched me.

All this while, Nerdanel was screaming about petitioning the Valar for a divorce and threatening to 'fix' her husband with the gardening shears. It was touch-and-go for a while but Nerdanel has been delivered of three healthy baby girls.

Feanor was really not expecting that one. He asked me if there was anything we could do for his newborn sons seeing they were missing certain bits despite my insistence that they were all healthy girls. Next he started questioning why the infants are so pale. They are all albinos. I think he was in severe denial he now has three albino daughters. Things took on a kinslayer-ish cast when Feanor took it into his head he was not the father as exactly twelve months ago, Nerdanel was working on a project in Ingwe's palace in Valmar, forgetting that his wife had delivered two months early. Oh, I forgot to mention our High King is also an albino.

All hell broke then with Feanor threatening violence on the High King. Ada Maglor and Finrod grabbed the babies from Feanor. They literally threw them into my arms before manhandling an enraged Feanor out of the birthing chamber. Maglor shut both his father and cousin in the vaults, arguing that Finrod's sordid fling with his father was what caused the trouble to start with. I hope they do not have weapons down there or we might have to explain to King Arafinwe why his son is back in Mandos. Nerdanel had a fit of hysterics in the face of her husband's rage. She wished to take her daughters and flee for her parents' immediately but I strongly advised her against that course of action seeing she was still weak from the birth and we were in the middle of a massive hailstorm. Ada Maglor just informed there would be a delay in getting word to Finwe as the hailstones had utterly wrecked the bridge leading out of the mountains.

Just heard Uncle Finrod screaming to be let out of the vaults. Seems Feanor has found an old fireplace poker and is threatening to stick it up where the sun doesn't shine unless he is freed. Ada Maglor has gone to see what he could do about the situation. Death by poker is definitely one we do not wish to have to explain to King Arafinwe. Nerdanel has calmed down enough to nurse her daughters and remind everyone to present offerings to the Valar in thanksgiving for her safe delivery in addition to the customary Yestare offerings at the family altar.

Oh, a happy Yestare to all while we wait for Feanor to return to his senses. Hoping he will come to terms with the fact that Iluvatar has blessed him with three beautiful daughters.

Your loving Ada

Elrond

P.S. I love you, my daughter. This day brings back lots of memories of holding you shortly after you popped out as a screaming pink bundle of joy from your Nana.

**Author's Notes:**

Daughters are just as good as sons, Feanor.

Don't worry too much about possible kinslaying. Feanor will accept his daughters, eventually.


	16. Three Precious Jewels

Elrond ends up fostering the triplets and incurs Feanor's wrath. Feanor is a protective adar.

**Three Precious Jewels**

_Fourth Age 31, Formenos_

Dear Arwen

I have been spending the past two months stuck in Formenos tending to my patient Lady Nerdanel and the household at Formenos. We were pleasantly surprised when not only the former king Finwe, but his wives arrived at Formenos this morning from Valmar with the turn in the weather. Ladies Indis and Miriel have woven and embroidered three sets of baby garments for the latest additions to the clan. Feanor is now much calmer after his Atto gave him a good talking to. Methinks he is starting to warm up to the idea of having three daughters. Finwe has expressed his wish that his granddaughters be presented to the populace of Tirion as princesses of his line, as soon as they are old enough to travel thence.

Uncle Finrod had to make a hurried departure in the middle of a blizzard after he made some innocent remark about the girls probably being real beauties when they come of age. Somehow that kicked Feanor's protective Adar side into action and Finrod has officially received a 'stay away from my daughters' command from his uncle. Celegorm volunteered to escort him back to Tirion, with promises that Finrod would not be falling off any cliffs en route. I hope he keeps his word – it would be most awkward for Ada Maglor to explain that one to King Arafinwe. I sincerely doubt Finrod meant anything untoward by his words. I mean, he did care for your Nana during her illness – in a fatherly way.

I am pleased to announce that despite their premature birth, the girls are doing well. Their brothers and parents dote on them immensely. Ada Maglor has even composed a lullaby in their honour. I truly believe Nerdanel often despairs of her husband's lack of imagination where it came to naming their children – Silmawen, Silmanel and Silmanis. He did have a long list of names prepared before the birth, but they were all names for sons. She is naming her daughters jointly as Silmanna after the glowing white of their hair. Indeed, some whisper that to make up for the loss of the Silmarilli, Iluvatar has gifted Feanor and his wife with three beautiful daughters. Find it a little odd that I now have three aunts who are so much younger than me. Also starting to see a theme here in Feanor's choice of names.

Miriel and Indis both much taken by the new elflings. Miriel pulled me aside to ask about her health as she wished to provide her son with a full-sibling after all these Ages. Finwe quite alarmed by her proposition given the outcome of her previous birth. Indis shyly suggested they adopt a few of their descendants' illegitimate children so as to take some of the burden off Nolofinwe and Ada Maglor. Popping out four elflings was quite enough for her, thank you. Fingon and Aredhel have written to their parents. Nolofinwe will be visiting Formenos with gifts for his nieces, if Feanor allows it. Feanor is too busy with his new babies to disagree.

Sincerely hope this ushers in a new phase in their brotherly relations. I doubt we can survive the sibling rivalry of the Years of the Trees.

Your loving Ada,

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 60, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Firstly, I must congratulate you on becoming a grandmother all those years ago. News from Gondor is slow to reach our shores. The peace and quiet of Tol Eressea (apart from the usual Gondolinean shenanigans and waterfront brawl) has been shattered by the arrival of Feanor's daughters. It is their adar's desire that they be fostered by the descendants of his half-brothers as a sign of goodwill. Let's see… The ellyth have been steadily working through the ranks. Arafinwe declined in light of his royal obligations. Nolofinwe refused on the grounds he already has his hands full with his grandchildren by Aredhel. My grandfather Turgon went into hiding at the news he was the next to be considered. My adar is not coming down from his duties as Gil-Estel. So I guess that leaves me and your naneth. Odd that Feanor never even considered your grandmother Galadriel.

At 30 cycles of the sun the trio are already showing signs of great beauty. Methinks your grandmother might be feeling a tad envious. Uncle Finrod has been whisked off on a cruise on the _Spirit of Fire_ by the triplets' over-protective brothers. Well, that scandal with some comely ellyth in his class did not help much. Okay, tantric sex is a thing in some parts of Arda, but what does that have to do with Easterling music? Ada Maglor found it necessary to suspend Finrod from teaching duties until further notice.

Fin trying to make your grandmother feel sexy again by taking her out on a little getaway. Unfortunately, that getaway is a bower, right next to the Baggins' place. Frodo has been coming over to seek sleeping draughts to help his sleep and other stuff to deal with certain reactions of his body inspired by overhearing your grandma Galadriel's lusty romps. I hope your grandfather has plans on how to win back your grandmother when he gets here, if ever.

Back to the triplets – Uncle Mel handed in his resignation yet again and signed up on the _Spirit of Fire_ as a stoker. Apparently, he prefers toiling in the bowels of the beast than dealing with the minxes. Your Nana is thrilled as it has been so long since she had to mother a little girl. Even before they arrive at our doorstep, their brothers had to beat off (quite literally) hordes of would-be suitors for their hand. Manwe, methinks I have my work cut out for me.

Perhaps enrolling the ellyth in healing classes at the House of Healing would be a wise move, or referring them to Lady Galadriel for her wisdom in Songs of Power. Don't look at me, I left your Nana to decide on your studies.

Your loving Ada,

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 60, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Your grandmother took it on herself to give the triplets a crash-course in the birds and bees by having them watch her and Fin go at it like bunnies. Being of a hands-on nature like their adar, the ellyth wasted no time in putting what they learned into practice, much to the delight of numerous ellyn on the island. Your naneth is quite outraged by the situation. She has written to her grandmother, Queen Earwen – who let slip to Lady Anaire, who let slip to her daughter Aredhel. Lady Aredhel no doubt had some pillow-talk with her favourite lover, Celegorm, and we had an outraged Ada Feanor storming out from Formenos.

Understand from rumours that he is holding their guardian responsible for the debacle – wait, isn't that me? Fin, your pledge to protect the line of my great-grandfather still holds, doesn't it? Why are you running off to now?

Beg pardon, but I need to find a hiding place quick! I have no desire to meet the Lord of Mandos.

Your Ada,

Elrond

P.S. Pray that Prince Feanor's ire abates, or there might just be another Kinslaying – namely mine.

**Author's Notes:**

Letting his law-mother teach the triplets is not the wisest move Elrond has made. I think we know why Feanor did not consider Artanis as a suitable mentor to his daughters. Keeping secrets in Aman is impossible.

Silmanel - shining white daughter  
Silmawen - shining white lady  
Silmanis - shining white woman

Feanor lacks creativity when it comes to naming his children.


	17. Father's Woes

Feanor catches up with Elrond. Feanor's daughters cause more uproar on their return in Formenos and Elrond is summoned back to attend to them. They have a talk as fathers of daughters.

**Father's Woes**

_Fourth Age 60, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

I am pleased to write that I am no longer at risk of dying in a Kinslaying although Feanor did manage to track me down in the cave where I have sought shelter from his wrath. It would seem that Feanor is quite reasonable, especially after Maglor informed him that Galadriel was the one who put ideas into his sisters' heads about free love and stuff. I am glad he brought along a lunch hamper which he kindly shared with me as I was getting sick of tree bark and berries after three weeks. It has been a while since I had to live rough. We fell to discussing our children. He claimed had he known I had so little control over my daughter as to allow her to choose the Doom of Man, he would have forgone me as the guardian of his daughters. Well, I feel no shame in losing you to the Doom, though I still miss you. I could not have found a better man for you than Estel. I have faith that we will all meet again when Arda is remade. If he has wronged you in any way, I will thrash him, as will your brothers.

We agreed that the girls' female cousins are, unfortunately, a bad influence with their permissive attitudes towards matters of the heart. Feanor suggested that perhaps Lady Aredhel's many affairs arose from her unhappy first marriage as well as her overly-controlling big brother Turgon. Hence his decision to allow his children some freedom. Celebrian is a paragon of good sense despite her mother and it is sad that his daughters did not take to her as well as they did to Lady Galadriel. I understood from my charges that they find your Nana's attention stifling as their Amme allowed them to run wild in Formenos. I guess that was why they had to be fostered out and hopefully trained into well-behaved young ellyth.

The ellyth's stay on Tol Eressea has since been cut short by their brothers. The Feanorions promised King Olwe there would be no Kinslayings on Tol Eressea although they did have a severe talk with certain resident ellyn about accepting their underaged sisters' favours. Understand the Feanorions are on their way back to Formenos by now. Several outstanding members of Avallone are now in the local jail where they have been obligingly left by the Feanorions pending an investigation by King Olwe. For once, Uncle Finrod is taking the side of his cousins in this matter as even he could not condone sexual escapades with elves that young. Galadriel and Fin have been summoned to Tirion for a private chat with Arafinwe.

Your loving Ada,

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 60, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

I have received an urgent missive from Prince Feanor. It would seem that I am to board the _Spirit of Fire_ and hasten to Formenos as his daughters were ailing. According to the letter from their father, the trio are experiencing nausea, loss of appetite, and bloat. Enough for the servants to get suspicious and rumours to start flying. Nerdanel resorted to some Avarin healer on the sly and the diagnosis was pregnancy. Nerdanel has taken to her bed in shock. Eru, they are still children! I know that my Nana had me in her thirties but she was part-Man.

Not sure who the fathers could be as the girls were far too free with their favours during their brief stay in Tol Eressea. One would think your grandmother had the common sense to share her knowledge of contraceptives with them, but no. We have a number of potential candidates, including a few of the esteemed lords of Gondolin. That impromptu kissing competition the ellyth held in the _Mariner's Arms_ was common knowledge but who knew whether things went beyond kissing afterwards? Honestly, I am shocked Grandfather Turgon allowed it to go that far – unless he is drunk under the table again trying to outdrink his sister. Methinks Lady Aredhel would have encouraged that mischief.

One of King Olwe's own sons was hauled in for questioning after he apparently shared his inn room with Feanor's daughters the night the girls lied about being at their brother Maglor's. Well, I must say Olwe is a fair elf as they come. He is digging up some obscure pre-Journey custom about multiple marriages should the prince be implicated. The said prince is already married and a grandfather to boot although he and his wife had been estranged for some yeni now.

I am crossing my fingers and hoping that the Avarin healer got it wrong. I really don't think ellyth that age are ready for childbearing. I understand from my past discussions with Mannish healers about abortions conducted in situations where the pregnancy had to be terminated due to risks to the naneth's health, some of which involve young girls whose bodies are not ready to cope with childbearing. The Feanorions did not allow me the luxury of digging though my scrolls for the relevant notes and I hope I can still recall that discussion from the Second Age.

I know there are many who will like to see the name of the House of Feanor dragged through the mud but the Feanorions are not going to let the scandal ruin them or their sisters' reputations. I think they might be able to put the actions of the ellyth down to naivety given their tender years. Triggering off a Kinslaying would be worse. We had to stop Celegorm from thrashing an elfling who thought it hilarious to sing some raunchy ballad about his sisters to his face.

I feel blessed that you have never given me such a headache although we did have that close call over that misunderstanding with Haldir's brothers – and numerous ellyn in Lothlorien.

Your loving Ada

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 60, Formenos_

Dear Arwen

It is with great relief that I diagnose my patients with a bad case of food poisoning thanks to consumption of some sweets that they had hidden away before they left to be fostered. Surely they should have worked out a green coating on their candied fruit is not a sign they are still edible. The Avarin healer made a mistake with the water samples. The one with child is Curufin's wife. Celebrimbor is going to be a big brother. Somehow Curufin does not seem so thrilled about the idea. Oh, he has been away at Lord Aule's for the last two cycles of the sun and just came home this morning. Er, I think I need to brew some medicine for the triplets.

Feanor is taking out several keep-away-from-my-daughters orders against several elves – among them Galadriel, Aredhel, Finrod and Fin. He is currently considering sending them to their grandfather in Valmar. Methinks Lady Indis and Lady Miriel will ensure that they stay out of trouble. Hopefully free love has not yet caught on in the golden city of the Vanyar.

Your loving Ada

Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

As fathers of rather headstrong daughters, Feanor and Elrond have found some common ground. Of course from Feanor's point of view, Elrond's giving his daughter's hand to a mere man and losing her to the Doom of Man was not a wise decision.


	18. News from Arda

Samwise arrives from Middle Earth in Fo.A. 61. The twins have done it this time – the Last Homely House is no literally more.

**News from Arda**

_Fourth Age 61, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

It is with great joy and surprise that we received Mister Samwise Gamgee at the docks this morning with Mithrandir. Frodo is beside himself with joy. True, the hobbit might have aged a bit since we last saw each other but I believe his skills as a gardener will not be wasted at Frodo's place – currently the garden is utterly overrun with weeds and brambles. Frodo pays a couple of young elves to hack a path through between his front door and the gate every two weeks or so.

Seems Sam has been busy over the past 60 years – marrying his sweetheart, having thirteen children, being Mayor of the Shire, and so on. Now he is looking forward to some peace and quiet between catching up with an old friend. Understand that the other two hobbits have been busy too. You might know them as Counsellors Peregrine and Meriadoc. I am much delighted to hear that you have expended your family. I suppose parenthood and grandparenthood agrees with you and Estel? I would advise you to go easy on childbearing (and all preceding activities) now. It may not be a problem for you but Estel is mortal after all despite his Dunedain heritage. You do not wish to wear him out that soon.

Thank you for the family portraits you charged Sam with passing to us. Your naneth is delighted by them. She does agree that motherhood really becomes you (and your elder daughters). Eldarion does take after his adar – and he has my brother Elros' mischievous smile. Trust he must have been quite a handful in his youth?

At the same time, it saddens me to hear that both Lothlorien and Imladris have fallen into ruin over the years. I suppose without the Rings, their magic was exhausted. Seriously, I despair of your brothers at times – how did they manage to burn down the Last Homely House trying to cook their own dinner? I suppose it was too much to expect them to start acting like proper elf-lords – wait, perhaps they are acting as proper elf-lords given what we have seen from the shenanigans of the mighty Lords of Gondolin.

At least Prince Legolas and your grandfather were willing to put them up in Ithilien. Please tell me that rumour about Elrohir and Prince Faramir's granddaughter was only that – a rumour. Methinks her grandmother would not be amused if that were true. I suppose I will need to have some very stern words with your brothers if they ever sail.

A bit disappointed Erestor has given up on the twins after the great fire of Imladris and sailed with Lindir on the same ship as Samwise. He did bring over the last of my scrolls from Mithlond though. And some letter of apology from my sons about razing the home I spent the better part of two Ages building to the ground. I hope your brothers are not imposing on the hospitality of their hosts, wherever they are. You will look out for them, wouldn't you?

Your loving Ada

Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Erestor has had enough of his twin-lords. Lindir came along because, seriously, he has nowhere to go after Imladris.


	19. Lazy Summer Days

The Teleri (or at least their king) finally have enough of the Lords' drunken shindigs and the weed problem in Avallone. Maedhros and Fingon are setting a trend for ice-cream and other summer past-times.

**Lazy Summer Days**

_Fourth Age 62, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

Over the past cycle of the sun, there have been many changes as Tol Eressea welcomed her third Hobbit. Sam may not be as spry as he was but he is still a skilled gardener. He has turned the Baggins' place into a thriving flower garden and vegetable patch within weeks of moving in with Frodo. Our cook regularly exchanges her pastries for their fresh herbs. There is nothing the Hobbits enjoy more than her pastries, except for a peaceful evening pipe on the porch. I had a second rocking chair sent over as a gift from the Tol Eressea welcome committee.

The rough waterfront district has been cleaned up somewhat by orders of King Olwe. The taverns and pubs are now required to adhere to strict operating hours and regulations on pipeweed and alcohol. Several less-savoury establishments have since been shuttered, including the _Kings' Arms_ – a favourite hangout of the Lords of Gondolin despite my great-grandfather Turgon's pleas. I for one will not miss the drunken antics arising from a drinking session there. I now have more evenings spent at home with your Nana instead of in the House of Healing patching up drunks, idiots, and drunken idiots. We are looking at more family-oriented businesses like cafes and snow-cone parlours on the waterfront now.

Oh, Uncle Maedhros has brought over a device which makes snow even in summer, courtesy of Formenos. His business partner Fingon has come up with the bright idea of drizzling honey and chopped fruits over the snow after stuffing it into a wafer cone – then peddling it to elflings. It is quite a treat on lazy summer days. It is a sight to see the long queues of eager elflings and their annoyed parents waiting outside their snow-cone parlour. I sincerely hope this venture works out after their kiddie swan pedal-boat fleet got set alight by Glorfindel for being in violation of safety standards – though I believed Olwe's instructions were only for them to suspend operations until they fixed the problem of tiny toes and robes getting caught in the paddlewheel. I had to treat a couple of crushed toes during their short-lived run. Fingon not pleased his cousin had a relapse of sorts thanks to the sight of the burning boats.

The pair also poached my minstrel to provide entertainment and music for their customers – I wonder why they did not ask Ada Maglor, Gildor Inglorion, or one of their many students from the Academy of Music. I guess Middle Earth ballads in Westron are all the rage now and Lindir has been keeping up-to-date on the latest music tastes back East (even the naughty taproom ditties). I hope those parents never find out what the lyrics of _Farmer Maggot's Sow_ mean, or Lindir would be finding himself hauled in for indecency.

Your favourite uncle Mel has returned to Tol Eressea after much travelling since he left his job as a stoker on the _Spirit of Fire_ – choking on fumes did not agree with him. The fruit-picking job in the orchards of Valmar did not go well either (a bee hive, I understand), nor being a valet at Thingol's hunting lodge. Well, he might have stayed on if he did not encounter my uncles Elurin and Elured and their Feanorion friends – Celegorm, Amras and Amrod. Understand that due to some juvenile jape, he ended up trapped in the cesspit with an angry bear. It was fortunate Melian got him out before any serious harm was done after Huan fetched her. Methinks that hound has more sense in his skull than his master has (don't tell Celegorm I said this). Feeding your host's servants to local wildlife is never good form. Unless they were actively trying to do you or their master in (like that incident with Thorongil back in Rohan in then Prince Theoden's hall, and it was the knave's idea to run out into a snowstorm with ravenous wargs about).

I feel almost bad I have to decline his offer to take back his previous post since I have already hired Erestor as our chamberlain after he arrived from Middle Earth. Though I must say I do not approve of him doing that funny dance, pulling faces at and mooning poor Melpomaen. Perhaps we can find a vacancy as an orderly in the House of Healing for Mel. Wait, who spiked Erestor's wine with dream-weed?

Your loving Ada

Elrond


	20. When in Valmar

Elrond responds to an invitation to travel to Valmar and ends up a guest under the High King's roof, and learns that his forebears might be more open-minded than the histories give credit for.

**When in Valmar**

_Fourth Age 70, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

After much preparation and consideration, I have decided to accept my foremother's invitation to visit Valmar. We will be bringing Mel along, since he has been there before and might be able to show us about if Lady Indis is not free. If time allows, I would like to make a detour to Lorien and seek a deeper knowledge of the healing arts. It would be of use when our Hobbit neighbours age.

Your Nana is fussing over what she should bring in her wardrobe. Methinks there might be a formal dinner with King Ingwe on the schedule. Glorfindel is unable join us due to some escapade with Ingwe's granddaughters when they were last in Avallone. It would not do for our beloved captain to be tossed into a Valmarian prison over that misunderstanding… It was a misunderstanding, right?

Your loving Ada

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 70, King Ingwe's palace, Valmar_

Dear Arwen

At His Majesty Ingwe's insistence, we all were given rooms in his palace during our stay. I have forgotten how tedious state banquets could be. We had a poetry and music recital by Ingwe's house minstrel but it was nowhere near Ada Maglor in brilliance. On the contrary, it was so boring that most of us ended up asleep in our appetizers. We had to really stifle the urge to toss our cheese canapes at him. Then there was the speech of welcome by the High King Ingwe and an awkward moment when I had to stand under the gaze of a hundred elves as the loremaster who bravely assisted in driving back the Shadow. I was not the only elf there in Middle Earth, you know…

On the bright side, great-grandfather Turgon did not get drunk – the High King's table does not serve wine as strong as what he is used to. My grandfather Tuor bailed out on us midway through the speech claiming he needed to check on our horses. I doubt he would be back until after dessert. Mel is probably sulking in the kitchens where he has been sent to dine with the rest of the servants as protocol dictated. I have always considered him part of the household in Imladris, as you know. Besides, it would be silly for us to dine at the long table without having some of the senior servants join us to fill up the space. The food was cold by the time the High King was finished with his speech. It was nowhere as delicious as what cook whips up back home.

Your Nana looked absolutely stunning in that new silver gown… Tried a bit of our own entertainment under the table but got caught by Lady Indis. We then received a terse lecture on proper Eldar table manners. Left the table feeling like naughty elflings. Ran into Grandfather Tuor outside the dining hall – getting up to some mischief with Grandmother Idril. Think Lady Indis and Lady Elenwe would have a heart attack if they were to catch them going at it like that in public.

We beat a hasty retreat out into the garden and found King Finwe skinny-dipping with Lady Miriel. Your naneth quite upset as she was looking forward to having the fountain for our own private romp. Finwe and Miriel extended an invitation for us to join them, which we declined and adjourned to our bedchamber. Methinks we should end this letter here as your naneth is hinting to me she would desire my full attention on her.

Your loving Ada

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 70, King Ingwe's palace_

Dear Arwen

Rousted from bed at the crack of dawn by the Golden City's famous bells. Apparently we both slept in after last night's banquet and missed the morning prayers. Rang for Mel and requested breakfast in bed followed by a warm bath to be brought up. Received a rebuke from Lady Indis after breakfast. We are expected to be present for the midday and sunset prayers as it would be polite to follow the Vanyarin prayer schedules while in Ingwe's palace. That was what those big golden bells were for. Our vacation is looking less enjoyable by the hour.

We gained permission to view the palace library collection and found a treasure trove of erotic works behind the history section. Got caught up reading a particularly interesting scroll with your Nana and forgot the time for the midday prayers. We spotted my grandparents clambering over the garden hedge about midday, apparently late for their prayers too. Grandmother informed me that this was the first time Tuor was allowed to enter the city as the High King feared negative Mannish influences (the last king of the Numenoreans remember?) and they were trying to be on their best behaviour.

After lunch we returned to the library and found King Ingwe and his queen referring to the restricted scrolls. We tiptoed out as we did not wish to interrupt their fun. Wonder if His Majesty knew the scrolls were signed off by King Finwe and his consorts, Miriel and Indis. Let's just say your foremother Indis has a fine hand with a paintbrush in addition to her voice and her co-authors are not shy at all about showing it all off.

Slightly scandalized,

Your Ada Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Court protocol can be a real pain at times. Wait till Elrond gets invited to another sort of party by his mother's side of the family.


	21. The Great Hunt

Elrond receives an invite to a hunting party. Chaos ensues.

**The Great Hunt**

_Fourth Age 70, Elu Thingol's Hunting Lodge_

Dear Arwen

An invitation from my forebear Elu Thingol found me at the palace of Valmar. He wished me to join him and the rest of the family at the Great Hunt celebrations in honour of Lord Orome. You know I am not really that keen a hunter but it would churlish for me to decline. Hence I have travelled with Mel to Thingol's hunting lodge near the Woods of Orome. Your Nana declined to join us. A wise move.

Ran into my uncles en route – Elurin and Elured. Had tree-sap and feathers dumped on us. I tried to ask them as to their eventual fate in their first lives (just for the record) but they were a bit touchy about it. Amras and Amrod then showed up with Huan and that hound took a shine to Mel – as a chew toy. The Ambarussa explained that they had Huan trained to chew an elf-sized effigy of Finrod after that debacle with their sisters (they thought he was the one who corrupted their sisters given his reputation for deviancy) and apparently Huan likes his chew toys elf-shaped now. Perhaps it might be that cologne Mel got from Finrod as a gift. They said Huan was sent to the doghouse after interrupting Celegorm whilst he was busy with a bedfellow. Methinks it is likely Celegorm was hanging out with Finrod again based on where Huan bit him.

Lady Melian there to greet us and whisk us off to the baths. She explained that the rest of the guests have arrived, including Uncle Maedhros and Fingon. Then we found Uncle Maedhros and his partner busy in the baths. Melian drove them out ordering them to continue their bonding in their room as other elves would like to use the hot water too. I requested Mel change the water in the bath before I soak, all of it.

Your Ada

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 70, Woods of Orome_

Dear Arwen

Fears confirmed with regards to the Hunt when I spotted Celegorm, Finrod Felagund, Lady Aredhel and others among the celebrants. Curufin offered to have me tattooed for hunt but I declined. I doubt your Nana would approve of me having vines etched into my back and limbs. Moreover, that needle Caranthir was using on Dior did not look hygienic to say the least. Lady Aredhel proved herself a minx by stripping and requesting her cousins tattoo her derriere. Mablung and Beleg are not above appreciating the White Lady's charms given the enthusiastic whistles coming from them, until Celegorm got enough of them ogling his cousin and set Huan on them.

The ink is made from woad – based on a recipe from Thingol's house. They put the twins Elured and Elurin in charge of the ink this year, which does nothing to reassure me of its safety. I recall from past discussions with the Dunedain that if improperly prepared, woad could be toxic when introduced to the body. Sincerely hoped the twins were attentive during their lessons. I recall your brothers' first attempt at preparing a medicine for constipation which had the poor Erestor in the privy with the bloody runs for two days.

Offered a choice of bow or spear for the hunt by Finrod. Declined both and ended up holding Uncle Finrod's harp. Uncle Finrod informed me that celebrants have a choice of entertaining Lady Vana or joining Lord Orome on the hunt. Since I have chosen not to join the hunt, I am to join the ellyth and Vana's handmaidens to provide music and dance. Grandmother Nimloth had me change into a short tunic, the likes of which I had last worn as an elfling. Understand this is the standard garment to be worn by attendants of Lady Vana. Lady Vana arrived with her lord and kindly crowned me with a wreath of autumn leaves in lieu of her maidens' flower crowns. I felt like a younger version of Thranduil. Well, I could act as her bard for the day, I suppose.

Lady Vana had her bower ready with refreshments and flowers. Felt a little out of place as the only grown ellon in attendance. The others were all ellyth or half-grown elflings. Melian joined me to ease my discomfort at having to sing for a Valie. Ada Maglor trained me but it has been a while since I last performed.

Our little session was cut short by a very alarmed young ellon. Halfway through the hunt, the participants have taken ill. My expertise as a healer was required. As I feared, my uncles had meddled with their family's ink recipe to generate a more vibrant, and unfortunately more toxic, version of the usual Great Hunt tattoo ink. The hunters are now experiencing nausea, blurred vision and in some cases delirium.

I found my twin uncles in a state of delirium and unable to speak. Not knowing what additional ingredients were added to the ink greatly limits my ability to help. Grandfather Dior managed to give me a list of the usual ingredients before slipping into unconsciousness. Mel dispatched to Lorien to seek aid from Lady Este. Your uncle Mel volunteered to keep house at Elu Thingol's lodge figuring it would be the safest place to be with the twins out in the woods for the hunt. Thus he escaped poisoning.

Almost all the hunters have been sick. Celegorm yelling he has been blinded. I seriously do not like the way Uncle Maedhros and Ambarussa are twitching. Fingon still holding up, for now. Melian trying her best to comfort everyone but she is as overwhelmed as I am by the sheer numbers of patients. Then her husband collapsed and she whisked him off straight to Lorien with her Maiar powers. Guess it is up to me now.

Caranthir's skill as a tattooist and the bright colour of this year's dye meant almost every hunter had volunteered to be marked for the hunt. Except Uncle Finrod, who prefers temporary henna designs painted onto his skin. A new design every time courtesy of his cousins. He is helping me brew the medicine for controlling nausea.

More complications as Aredhel just confided that she was in the early stages of pregnancy. We would need to watch her carefully in case her blurred vision and nausea progresses into something more troubling. Lord Orome was shrugging off the chaos and asking if anyone saw that wounded stag. Wounded beasts can be dangerous so he took Huan to track down the beast with his lady's aid. Finrod warned us that the twins were in charge of the hunters' wine too so we are pouring away the entire batch before anyone else gets hurt.

Methinks it would be a very long night.

Feeling frazzled,

Your Ada Elrond

P.S. We found the stag, or rather it found us. We had an enraged twelve-pointer rampaging through the tents of the hunting party before Uncle Finrod helped me finish the beast off with Celegorm's spear. At least dinner should not be a problem now.

**Author's Notes:**

At least Finrod was able to keep a cool head and help Elrond out.


	22. Of Weddings and Babies

Elrond and Celebrian attend the wedding of their one-time ward. Chaos ensues when the Lords of Gondolin join the party.

**Of Weddings and Babies**

_Fourth Age 71, Araman_

Dear Arwen

Your naneth and I received an invitation to the wedding of our one-time ward Maeglin. After several cycles of the sun, Maeglin has finally convinced his beloved's parents to entrust their daughter to him. Being known as the Traitor of Gondolin was to be a bit of a stumbling block when meeting the parents – especially when they were burnt alive by firedrakes as elflings during the Fall of Gondolin in their first lives.

Preparations for the wedding underway even as the guests arrive. The House of Feanor was out in force as was the House of Fingolfin. Much to Feanor's chargin, your grandmother came with us as a representative of her father's House – Finarfin could not leave Tirion due to his state commitments, and that 'keep away from my daughters' order probably still stands against Finrod Felagund. Angrod and Aegnor had engagements elsewhere. Finwe and his wives chose to remain in Valmar to allow his eldest sons a chance to bond without their parents hovering over them. It's not as though Feanor will be drawing swords on his brother again.

I was stunned to find Lady Ardehel there despite her somewhat delicate condition. She was huge and I wonder if she was expecting twins. She looked set to deliver any moment. Attending to her was Celegorm – I wonder if he is the father this time. I suppose as the naneth of the groom, Aredhel felt obliged to oversee the proceedings.

Maeglin invited his colleagues from Gondolin – a move which wisdom I seriously question. Found Glorfindel and Turgon sampling the wine Eol brought and acting really drunk. Eol's home-brew moonshine is probably headier than Thranduil's best vintages and probably helps explain why Aredhel ended up in the sack with him the first time round when it is rumoured she enjoys leading her suitors on a merry chase before bestowing her favours. Yes, we are all wondering about that little trip into the woods with her minders Fin, Elgamoth, and Ecthelion which led to her meeting Eol.

Lord Salgant came to blows with Ada Maglor over the wedding music after Maglor declared that he sounded like a walrus in heat. To be honest, bagpipes were never an instrument for amateurs – methinks we should keep to the harp. Oh, and never challenge a Feanorion in the presence of his brothers unless you are up to taking on all of them. Excuse me, I need to prevent a possible kinslaying…

Shaking my head,

Your Ada Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 71, Araman_

Dear Arwen

Sometimes I despair at the utterly irresponsible behaviour of my elders – the Lords of Gondolin in particular. Thanks to their latest jape, the groom is in no state to exchange vows with his bride. I know that a stag party is the last celebration of a groom's bachelorhood but you lot did not have to get him so drunk on his adar's moonshine he could barely stand. Having Grandfather Tuor and Great-grandfather Turgon prop him up doesn't count as standing. In fact, half the groomsmen could not be roused from their drunken stupor. Tuor and Turgon were spared the worst of the hangovers thanks to their wives insisting they return to their beds before ten instead of partying the night away - or be relegated to the kennels literally until Arda breaks.

Oh, Granduncle Argon is nursing a hangover and having a serious talking-to by Lady Anaire after he climbed into the bed of Curufin's lady-wife last night. However, based on the merry attitude of the lady in question at breakfast, I doubt his attentions were rebuffed in the least. Curufin is another matter – understand he has been estranged from his wife since her last elfling, possibly Tyelpe's half-sister rather than full sister. This latest incident has sent him hastening to the library to dig up all records on Eldar divorce laws since the Awakening.

After Maeglin puked on the bride's gown, her parents were yelling to their current lord Feanor to call off the wedding permanently or declare it invalid since the couple were midway through the exchange of vows. Feanor simply shrugged and patted his brother on the shoulder as a horrified Fingolfin shook his head at the antics of the groomsmen. Methinks Feanor will hold his judgment on this until everyone has calmed down. Perhaps his time in Mandos has mellowed him a bit.

Fin was giggling and dancing about with flowers in his hair. Ecthelion making improper suggestions to all the ladies present, including Anaire. Penlod busy mooning a statute of Yavanna in the grand hall. Rog had a punch bowl on his head and was singing naughty drinking songs. Maeglin's half-siblings clearly find the lords' antics amusing and were using a new picture box invention from the Feanor to capture their disgrace for posterity instead of their big brother's wedding. The Feanorions promised to pass out the prints to any guest interested by next week. I believe your naneth has already pre-ordered a set of Maeglin's wedding pictures through Caranthir at a fifty percent discount.

No one knows where Eol is, or your grandmother. Your naneth is a bit worried about Lady Galadriel but I believe your grandmother is capable of watching out for herself. Maglor claimed he saw Master Eol being dragged into the passionfruit arbor by Lady Galadriel last night but we do not have the courage to verify that sighting.

Lady Aredhel in hysterics about her little boy's ruined wedding and begging everyone not to call it off. The bride has stormed off with her folks to change out of her utterly ruined gown. Poor Maeglin too unconscious to care at this point. I had to put him in a position so he does not choke on his puke. Ducking him in the fountain will not make him any more sober, my lady. Then Lady Aredhel's water broke and she went into labour right on the aisle of the wedding hall.

Fine now, everyone quit gawking and leave if you are not staying to help. I have an elfling to deliver. Oh, and do you mind carting the groom out too? Ada Maglor, please help take his siblings out too. I think the elflings need not hear their naneth screaming and cussing during the birthing process. The baby's crowning… Oh, that thud was the baby's adar Celegorm fainting. I thought with all the foals and pups he helped deliver he would be used to this by now…

Your Ada

Elrond

P.S. Keep Eol's moonshine and the Lords of Gondolin away from any groom-to-be unless you want the wedding called off.

P.P.S. Lady Aredhel has just popped out a raven-haired daughter who takes after her in looks and a fair-haired son who looks like a baby version of Celegorm. The proud ada got up, saw his newborn twins and fainted yet again. Any smelling salts about?

**Author's Notes:**

A somewhat memorable wedding or near-wedding. Yep, the Feanorions have discovered photography and Elrond is once more pressed into being a midwife.


	23. The High Kings Club

The former high kings of the Noldor in Arda have a little weekend get together. What can go wrong? Elrond is made honorary member of the club. On the cards are wine and lithe ellyth - and maybe many headaches.

**The High Kings Club**

_Fourth Age 75, Avallone_

Dear Arwen

I do not know how I allowed myself to be talked into this latest escapade. Perhaps I should have listened to your Nana and turned down the invitation – but Gil-galad asked so nicely for me to join their High Kings of Middle Earth club as an honorary member. Gil-galad explained that being crowned High King of the Noldor in Middle Earth automatically granted him membership to the club, but seeing as I had fulfilled my role as titular leader of the Noldor into the last days of the Eldar in Arda, I should be granted entry despite not having worn a crown. At least someone appreciates the work I did for our people since the Third Age.

Great-grandfather Turgon has rented a nice holiday villa from King Olwe along Pearly Beach for our first weekend gathering. Understand that the invite does not extend to your Nana, which should have been a red flag to me as to the club's weekend plans. Galadriel was not to be informed of the club – she does not qualify as she had gone native with the Sindar, so Gil-galad said. And we know she would kick up a fuss. Thankfully, we heard from Finrod that she had gone to Valmar for a spot of recreation. I hope she reins in her lusty instincts or Indis comes up with some post-Middle Earth trauma illness to excuse her behaviour.

We met Ada Maglor at the Avallone Music Academy to work out the logistics. Finrod Felagund has kindly agreed to gift us some vintages from his private cellar and his nephew's vineyard. Maglor said his Atto will be making up the shortfall from Formenos' brewery. Mind you, with that amount of alcohol, we could have been hosting a court banquet in Lindon instead of a private get-together. At least there will be no dodgy moonshine, I hope.

Checked with Gil-galad on the other members – they include all the High Kings of the Noldor in Arda since the Darkening and Maglor as Acting High King during his brother's imprisonment. Feanor insisted that both his sons be included despite their brief reigns. When Fingolfin started the club, he decided that Feanor should be included as the First High King of the Noldor to set foot on Beleriand shores. No one is to mention Balrogs to Feanor in light of how he met his end. I think that could be extended to all the other kings too, including Fingon and Turgon.

Having a bad feeling about this.

Your Ada, Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 75, Pearly Beach_

Dear Arwen

The villa is in a quiet, laid-back section of the beach, accessible by only a steep trail from the land and a small wooden pier by the water. A bonfire is burning on the shore. Feanor, Maedhros and Fingon just arrived on the _Spirit of Fire_. Fingon got a bit too carried away testing that fire-spewing dragon figurehead and set fire to Ecthelion's rowboat en route. So we have him as an extra guest. It was that or leaving him to Lord Ulmo's mercies in a burning boat. He looks a little shaken and his catch was fairly well-done. However, I would advise he spend the night at the villa after I treat his minor burns with salve from my first-aid kit. You know the one with the ointments, bandages and other useful stuff for travelling in the wilds. Yes, I have said it. A weekend here is about as risky as the wilds of Eriador given the current company.

Finrod Felagund told us that his grandfather used to take the family to the villa when he was a child. It is a bit rundown but still serviceable. Olwe had some elves come over to tidy up the place before we came. The servants are long gone by now and it's just us Noldor. Nerdanel loaded the _Spirit of Fire_ with supplies for the rest of the weekend, which Feanor had his sons and nephew unload. Dinner was to be a potluck thing. Your nana insisted I bring along her green bean casserole. Ecthelion contributed his barbequed stingray and squid. Great-grandmother Elenwe prepared an entire venison roast. Lady Anaire sent a haunch of acorn ham and a wheel of cheese. I think your nana's casserole will go unappreciated.

Feanor asked if his other sons could stay on shore but Turgon turned him down. There was not enough room in the villa for all of them. Maedhros suggested that the rest of his brothers could sleep on board their vessel. Celegorm insisted he would sleep on the beach under the stars. They would not be interfering too much with the club given that they are setting up fishing rods on the pier. Asked Celegorm after his wife and twins. Fingolfin and Anaire sought a dispensation from the Valar to allow their daughter to get married to Celegorm and hopefully curb her partying ways. Informed that Aredhel is expecting yet again and his stepson Maeglin has finally managed to get married in a private ceremony in the woods. Not that it stopped his law-parents from thrashing the heck out of him afterwards, but he would live, even if he spent the honeymoon laid up in bed.

I asked Feanor about his daughters. Feanor proudly announced that the trio is currently taking dance lessons from Lady Nessa. At least that should keep them out of trouble. After everyone has settled down with a tankard and a plate of roast and bread, Turgon declared the first ever gathering of the High Kings' Club open. Feanor was invited to make a speech on his reign – a move we all soon regretted as he related the events of the Darkening and Flight of the Noldor, up till his death. That little speech took the better part of two hours. His sons both declined to speak, turning the limelight over to their uncle.

A quarrel quickly escalated when Fingolfin reminded everyone that although Feanor made it to Beleriand before he did, he did not manage to even get near the Black Foe's fortress while he, Fingolfin, had challenged Morgoth in single combat and wounded him in the foot. Feanor downplayed the duel as the foolishness of a suicidal moron. Ada Maglor, his brothers and their cousins wandered off to look at the stars, leaving Gil-galad and I to stop their fathers from committing another kinslaying. Managed to talk them both into a truce. Who said those centuries of negotiating the minefield of diplomatic wrangling in Arda wouldn't come in useful here?

Just when we had settled the Finwions, Turgon returned with the announcement that the night's entertainment had arrived. The entertainment took the form of four shapely ellyth with hair tinted in shades of blue and green. They were veiled and clad in sheer silks and beads of similar colour to invoke the sea nymphs. Their sensual dance moves were invoking other kinds of reactions from all of us, including the Feanorions who had been drawn in from the pier in light of richer catches ashore.

Much to Turgon's amusement, the ellyth had most of their attentions focused on him and his brother, to the Feanorions' dismay. Somehow Fingon the Valiant ended up with a lithe dancer in his lap as his cousins watch on in envy. Ecthelion got hauled in by another elleth to partner her in a belly dance routine. Gil-galad found himself in a similar position as Fingon. I could not help but feel that busty nis dancing in front of us looks mighty familiar. I thought it must be the wine making the rounds.

The fun came to an abrupt end when a tipsy Celegorm got a bit assertive about not getting a lap dance like Fingon and snatched the veil off one dancer to reveal one of his three little sisters. That really put a damper on the celebrations as Feanor sobered up, took charge of the situation and commanded all the dancers unveil themselves – revealing your grandmother Galadriel and the three daughters of Feanor. I seriously hate to be in Turgon's shoes after this debacle.

Ada Maglor has the dubious honour of herding his wayward sisters onto the _Spirit of Fire _to sail back to Araman on the morning tide. I refuse to speculate on what Curufin and Celegorm are doing with Galadriel up at the villa. In the meanwhile, I will try to get suitably drunk on the wine and probably pass out on the sand or something.

Your Ada, Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 75, Pearly Beach_

Dear Arwen

I hereby swear never ever to drink so much wine again. Awoke to the equivalent of mini-Balrogs running about my skull in the worst hangover ever. My companions in no better state. We almost lost Celegorm to the waves when he passed out too near the low tide mark and had to be dragged to safety by his hound Huan. Huan did the doggy-paddle from the _Spirit of Fire_ when he saw his master was in danger of drowning. Of course, that left the vessel unguarded since Feanor and sons spent the night ashore. That enabled Galadriel and the Feanoriels to sail away on the vessel before breakfast. Feanor is not amused by his niece and daughters' latest antics. He is swearing to have the pirates shaved bald in between puking his guts into a chamber-pot.

Left the villa for some fresh air and found Turgon buried up to his neck in the sand – I believe some of the Feanorions were less drunk than their fellows last night – at least enough to operate a shovel and tie Turgon up. At least he was above the high-tide mark. Spent some time digging him out. Fingon and Maedhros managed to rustle up some breakfast from the leftovers. Ecthelion trying his luck fishing off the pier.

Ended up with sitting with Gil-galad on the beach and talking about the old days in Beleriand, Lindon and later Eriador. Got a bit weepy at the mention of the Last Alliance – until Gil-galad gave me a sound ticking-off about letting Isildur keep the damned ring. Well, you did get his father toasted going after Sauron, so he was justified in calling weregild. It would not have been diplomatic to kick him into the crater of Mt Doom like Maedhros suggested. Oh, Maedhros and Fingon have come to join us to get away from the craziness indoors. Something about Feanor chasing Turgon about the place with a lampstand. Maglor hid all weapons in the villa's boathouse last night after the appetizer. Was that lamp in use? Because we see smoke coming from the windows…

I think Turgon will have some serious explaining to do to Olwe about his summer villa if it burns to the ground. Need to assist in putting out a fire.

Your Ada Elrond

P.S. Got everyone out with some minor burns and smoke inhalation. The villa unfortunately is a smouldering ruin. It's a long trek back to town.

**Author's Notes:**

Finrod, Orodreth and the other lesser kings or non-Noldor kings might be a little miffed about being left out of the party - until they hear about Galadriel's gatecrashing it with her protegees.


	24. Letters from Middle-earth

Elrond reflects on Middle Earth and the news he receives from there.

**Letters from Middle-earth**

_Fourth Age 80, Avallone_

Dear Arwen

We have received your letter sent with the last party of elves sailing in from Mithlond. While it grieves me to learn that the numbers of the Eldar are dwindling in Middle Earth, it makes my heart glad to hear that your brothers have been of aid to you and Estel, as well as your grandfather in Ithilien. If I had known that removing them from the household comforts of Imladris on a permanent basis would have contributed to their maturity, I would have done so myself a yeni ago. Was there any truth to the tale of Legolas thrashing them with a willow branch after they let loose fireworks in his talan? And did Estel really send them off to Far Harad as his emissaries for three years for tarring and feathering Eomer's son?

It saddens me to learn that even the hardiness of his race does not spare Gimli the aches and infirmities of age, and that his father Gloin now waits in the Halls of Mahal for the Second Music. Such is the mortal fate. I trust your health and that of Estel is still strong? I congratulate you on the latest additions to your family – three grandsons by Eldarion's lad is quite a feat. Though it is fortunate his law-daughter already provided him with an heir and a spare. Identical triplets would be hard to tell apart. I could never differentiate Feanor's daughters when they were staying with us. Their naneth, however, seems not to have that problem.

Your Ada, Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 82, Avallone_

Dear Arwen

Greatly dismayed to receive a letter from your grandfather sent via a ship from the mouth of the Anduin complaining of the impossibilities of getting your brothers to behave like grown elves. Apparently your brothers have reverted to their prankster ways. Finding Haradrim giant cockroaches in one's boots would ruin any elf's day, least of all Thranduil's. As more of the elves of Ithilien feel the call to sail, a port has been set up at the mouth of the Anduin to cater to them instead of having them travel to Mithlond. I pray your brothers would apply themselves to managing the ship-building and sailing schedule there.

I also received a report from Lord Cirdan about the repopulation of Fornost and the Northern Kingdom. While he is glad that the Dunedain have returned to their ancestral seat, he is highly concerned about the incidents of attempted stowaways from nearby human settlements on board his ships. Perhaps it may be wise for the bards to cut back on the glorious ballads of the Firstborn so that young lads don't feel inclined to try and meet Finrod Felagund. I am much amused to learn that I am the third most well-regarded ellon among the Dunedain after Finrod and Legolas.

Legolas writes about the embarrassing number of mortal and elven maids hanging about outside his talan – so much that he has taken to hiding out at Gimli's cave or Radgast's shack. Though I am a bit surprised he has yet to wed at his age against typical wood-elf customs. Perhaps Thranduil's criteria for a law-daughter are too steep. He asks if I could get in touch with an elleth by the name of Tauriel whom he describes as his comrade-in-arms and nothing more. I pity my young friend that he does not seem to realize his letter clearly shows he feels far more for this elleth. If it weren't for the Sundering Sea between them, I would suggest Thranduil relent and leave both young ones alone in some quiet room to work out their feelings. Or is this the same Tauriel they said fell for a dwarf?

Personally I have nothing against inter-race unions seeing our family history. I strongly suspect Cousin Tyelpe may or may not have had more than a deep friendship with his Dwarvish colleague Narvi back in the Second Age - who may or may not be a Dwarrowdam. All dwarves were still claiming to outsiders (including us elves) that they were all males back then. It was a huge shock for me when I was asked to help deliver a dwarfling shortly after the Last Alliance. Even if Narvi was truly a he, I think my cousin may very well swing the same way as Gildor Inglorion, Uncle Fingon and Uncle Maedhros.

Your Ada, Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 90, Avallone_

Dear Arwen

We just received letters from Elladan and Elrohir with some updates on the Shire happenings. I thought they were not to trespass there by order of King Elessar after the debacle with some Hobbit farmer's mushrooms? I hope they picked up the news from Butterbur's instead of imposing on Sam's family. As their eyes were not as good as they once were, Sam and Frodo had me read out the letters to them. Sam was much cheered by the birth of his first great-grandson – bouncing lad with a head of golden curls.

Sam made a comment about the astounding number of taller than normal Hobbit children with golden hair and slightly pointy ears born about a year or so after we passed through the Shire on our way to Mithlond. Understand from him that these Hobbits were of a more adventurous bent than their parents and would often leave to seek their way outside the Shire. At Samwise's words, Glorfindel, who was with me, turned a funny shade of grey and fled.

I seem to recall a similar reaction from Fin as related to me by Mel when Thorin's company passed through Imladris. I suppose if those pointy-eared Hobbits do carry a tinge of elvish blood from Glorfindel, they would be well-employed in protecting the Free Races under King Elessar's banner or those of his allies. Think of it as a continuation of Fin's oath to protect the line of Earendil in Endor.

Highly amused,

Your Ada, Elrond

P.S. I must not tease Fin about being a great-grandfather seeing I am one myself. I do suppose I can tease him over the height of our descendants.

**Author's Notes:**

The part-elvish Hobbits are the outcome of Glorfindel's dalliances with some obliging Hobbit lasses in the Shire before leaving Middle-earth as referenced in my other fic - Figwit's Journal.


	25. Valinor Games

In the pursuit of more wholesome pastimes for his lords, Turgon decides to revive the Gondolin Games in Valinor. Needless to say, chaos ensues. Think of this as the Elvish Olympics, the first and only.

**Valinor Games**

_Fourth Age 100, Tirion_

Dear Arwen

It should come as no surprise to you by now that the most well-meant venture of your forebear Turgon is destined to go horribly awry. In an attempt to regain the past glory of the Lords of Gondolin, former High King Turgon has decided to revive the Gondolin Games – a series of competitions between the noble Houses of Gondolin. The Noldoran Arafinwe also encouraging this venture as an attempt to wean the Lords off drinking, wenching, and generally making a nuisance of themselves in Valinor.

All the Lords and their men are strongly invited to join in the competition to be held in Tirion. However, Turgon failed to realize that in the yeni since Gondolin and re-embodiment, most of the Lords had allowed their Houses to literally crumble about them. Heard from Cousin Maeglin his House of the Mole is currently defunct. The House of the Golden Flower has been long neglected by Glorfindel – understand his men had long gone their own way after he left for Middle-earth the second time. However, I doubt that would stop Fin from joining in the games – he has a real combative streak. The entire House of Elrond has been persuaded to travel to Tirion to compete, or at least cheer him on. Erestor is hoping there is a segment on combative calculus he could participate in, which I seriously doubt.

Grandfather Tuor has been arguing with Grandma Idril whether the House of the Wing should be considered a part of the King's House – Tuor was the triple title-holder for the axe-hurl before Gondolin burned. Lady Aredhel insisted that she not be counted as part of the King's House as her son is Lord of the House of the Mole. So there goes Turgon's hopes of bagging the archery medal. Ecthelion has been trying to persuade Finrod and Maglor to join his House for the competitive singing segment and Maeglin's step-father Celegorm is asking permission from Feanor to have the Feanorions compete on Maeglin's team.

Holy Manwe! Could you imagine the uproar that would arise from that? Everyone knows how much the Feanorions hate to lose. There are whispers there will be a kinslaying before the games are over if they are allowed to join. The Alqualonde elves still recall a certain unhappy royal regatta yacht race some years back where Feanor's daughters and niece used a fire-breathing dragon figurehead on the_ Spirit of Fire _to eliminate the competition. Feanor had to write a very public and poetic apology to King Olwe for that debacle. Your grandmother did not appreciate being called a pirate and a thief, even if she did steal Feanor's vessel from under our noses. The apology has since been memorialized in stone on Alqualonde's Market Street – I mean, it was an actual written apology from Feanor, and those are hard to come by.

Oh, I just heard from your Nana that Feanor has decided to back Cousin Maeglin and the House of the Mole. All the Feanorions will be competing on Maeglin's team, much to the horror of Turgon. He passed out when Idril informed him of the news and he is on his way to the House of Healing. Another possible reason for Turgon passing out might just be that wayward hammer from Lord Rog's practice which hit him on the head. Lord Rog was a bit rusty on the hammer-throw, so we understand. It was his favourite event and he felt he needed to put in more work to keep up his form.

Fearing worse is to come,

Your Ada Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 100, Tirion_

Dear Arwen

After much discussion between the leaders of the Eldar, with some suggestions from Lords Tulkas and Aule, we have come up with a revised list of events. Rougher events like beer-guzzling and naked mud-wrestling would be replaced by more refined arts like steeplechasing and smithwork. Regrettably, bodybuilding will remain on the cards – to Glorfindel's immense delight. He has been training to tone up his muscles. With that barely-there loincloth, Methinks the naked mud-wrestling would be less indecent, even by Vanyar standards. The javelin, races, hammer-toss and other athletic events would remain along with the cultural competitions.

We would hold the games in the newly-built Arena just outside Tirion. It was built a yeni back when horseracing through the streets fell out of favour back due to property damage complaints, and a couple of trampled elves. In addition, the Valar decreed that the games be open to all the elves, not just those from fallen Gondolin, so we have teams from the Sindar, Teleri, and Vanyar joining too. Feanor is sending his own team, including Cousin Maeglin, under the banner of Formenos. The home team includes most of the House of Fingolfin, apart from Aredhel and her son. The House of Finarfin has decided to abstain as His Majesty Arafinwe will be sitting on the panel of judges.

To be honest, I am sensing some dreadful Doom closing in on us all.

Your Ada Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 100, Tirion_

Dear Arwen

Today we have the first ever Valinor games, dedicated to the Valar – which promptly descended into a free-for-all brawl. And the day had started off so well…

Your forefather Arafinwe Noldoran carried out the opening ceremonies with his usual dignity by lighting the torch of friendship. He did not even flinch when his sleeve caught fire, which in hindsight should have been a clue of how the day was going to turn out. His chamberlain was quick to act with a bucket of water, so he only had second-degree burns on his arm. There was an opening choral performance by the Crown Prince Finrod Felagund and his brood – all fifty-eight of them, including Gildor Inglorion and Ada Maglor's foster children.

Elu Thingol's house was gunning for the archery gold. They had Beleg Cuthalion as their champion on the team. Unfortunately, the entire archery team was disqualified from competing when my uncles Elured and Elurin were caught red-handed sabotaging the equipment of the competition. Celegorm was unable to compete for the rest of the archery events due to having his bow and arrow stuck to his hands. It did not stop him from siccing Huan on Elured and Elurin despite his wife's request that he set a good example for their twins by forgiving the mischief-makers. Huan gladly obliged. I missed the wrestling events due to having patch up my uncles after one hell of a mauling.

Before I could return to your Nana in the tiers, I received my next patient – who was unfortunately dead. Somehow Prince Fingon broke his neck in the act of securing victory in the wrestling finals. His rival was none other than Uncle Maedhros who did not quite realise his cousin was dead. He was waiting for Fingon to go up the podium and receive the medal. Had to seek out Melian to get some urgent help from Lord Namo. I sure hope he can get Fingon's fea back into his body and patch up his neck before Maedhros goes off the deep end. Maedhros kicking up a fuss over the delay. I know the gold medal is much sought after, but surely it is not worth a trip to Mandos. Thankfully, Lord Namo and Lord Irmo got that little hiccup sorted out. I still had to put Fingon in a neck brace though, with strict instructions not to move his head suddenly.

The 100 metre sprint was won by one Saeros of Doriath, just before he got a fractured skull from Rog's hammer-toss. Elu Thingol is not amused his great-grandsons got mauled and the first Sinda champion got knocked out on his way to receive the gold medal. Just as Finwe managed calm his good friend Elu Thingol down, there was a riot in the stands – Caranthir thought it would be profitable to start a betting ring on the side and a few disgruntled elves are demanding their coin back from his runners.

Remember what I said about challenging a Feanorion some years back? Curufin and Celegorm leapt into the fray and they were promptly disqualified from the rest of the events. Not that anyone was listening by now. Lord Tulkas not exactly helping the situation by shouting out encouragement to the combatants. In fact, he is the only Vala left. Lord Manwe and the others have flown off to the more peaceful environs of Taniquetil. We have no idea why our normally dignified High King Ingwe is trying to choke Glorfindel… something about seducing his granddaughter, I suppose. Well, no better time to let his hair down and sort out grudges when everyone is too busy rioting to notice.

Thankfully Erestor managed to get your Nana out of the stands before the fighting got really bad. As for me, I am waiting at Tirion's House of Healing with the rest of the healers who are not caught up in the fracas. The Arena is on fire now…

Excuse me, I think the first of the casualties are arriving and need my attention…

Your Ada Elrond

**Author's Notes: **

Imagine the worst football riots, multiply by a factor of 10.


	26. More Wedding Troubles

Elu Thingol's attempt to join his family with the High King Ingwe's via marriage does not go as planned.

**More Wedding Troubles**

_Fourth Age 110, Valmar_

Dear Arwen

Uncle Finrod has done it this time, sparking another major diplomatic incident on the heels of that one with the High King's granddaughter. It all started when Elu Thingol finally tired of my twin uncles' freewheeling bachelor lifestyles and arranged marriages for them with two Vanyar princesses from the High King's large family. Methinks it a pity he did not learn from what happened with Beren and Luthien.

Naturally, my uncles were not thrilled in the least. Your naneth kindly described the brides-to-be as docile and pious maidens. In all honesty, they have as much character as sheep and it took them the better part of the morning to come up with a simple reply to my 'Good morning'. Glorfindel suggested it might be an unfortunate side-effect of the Vanyarin propensity to marry their first cousins – and I know he has been remedying that defect by paying court to the blond ladies of Ingwe's court whilst their husbands are away in prayers to the Valar.

My adar Earendil has turned down my uncles' offer to join his crew on the Vingilot. No one knows why Uncle Finrod was elected to oversee the stag party – perhaps it was thanks to Beleg's wife due to pop out an elfling or Mablung being in Elu Thingol's bad books for letting my uncles and their friends the Ambarussa into his wine cellar to slip everyone the concoction which causes extreme flatulence at the last Yule feast. It took months to get the stench out of the lodge.

Knowing her uncle all too well, your Nana persuaded me to join the party just to keep an eye on our uncles. Somehow I felt that I was the only sober elf left there by nine. Let me tell you fishing our drunk Glorfindel out of the punch bowl is not how I would prefer to spend my evenings. I suppose your Nana and the ladies had it easier at their bridal shower for the brides-to-be. I mean, I will not claim to be in the know about what goes on at such things – perhaps some pedicures?

I did not expect to get tied to a pillar by our best men or elves – the Ambarussa. So I did not know where my uncles went off too. Spent a highly uncomfortable night before Ada Maglor came looking for me and cut me loose. We barely made it in time to the Great Hall for the wedding – only to find everyone awaiting the arrival of the grooms. Everyone in a tizzy about what happened to the pair. Noticed Uncle Finrod missing too but I thought he might be snogging a bridesmaid somewhere behind the curtains – or that might just be Glorfindel.

Elu Thingol all but ordered Celegorm to assist with tracking down his wayward great-grandsons despite Dior's theory that his sons were most likely hiding out somewhere in the High Pelori by now and we should call off the wedding, enjoy the feast, and go home to sleep things off (a wise choice, I must say). Surprisingly, Celegorm obliged by setting Huan on the trail. Methinks he knows something that Elu Thingol will seriously regret when Huan does find my uncles.

Huan followed the scent trail to the suite in the palace set aside for Prince Finrod. In the antechamber we found scattered garments – which should have been a strong hint to everyone to return the way we came.

Being of a decidedly stubborn nature, Elu Thingol pressed on even as Celegorm and Huan made their discreet exit – well, as discreet an exit as a large, slobbery hound the size of a carthorse could manage. Entering Finrod's bedchamber, we found Finrod abed between my missing uncles – naked.

Cue shrieks of outrage from the families of the brides, grooms and guests. The brides are fortunately too simple to figure out what happened. Elu Thingol threatening to gut Finrod for corrupting my uncles. The Vanyar royals are calling off the weddings to my uncles. Instead, they are falling back on some obscure custom from Cuivienen – that of the groomsman wedding the bride should any misfortune befall the groom. Then everyone remembered the Ambarussa Feanorion are the groomsmen and back-up bridegrooms this round. Feanor seems to be surprisingly fine with the notion. Well, none of his sons married royal wives other than Celegorm (and that because he knocked Lady Aredhel up first - plus she's Feanor's niece). More outrage from the Vanya. Even Ingwe is not going to accept known Kinslayers for his family by marriage, royal blood or not. I guess the wedding's definitely off now.

Arafinwe trying his best to smooth all those ruffled feathers. Earwen urging her son to get dressed – padding about the room stark naked after a steamy night of passion is not doing Finrod's reputation any favours. In the chaos, Elured and Elurin have quietly dressed and climbed out the window, hopefully headed for the High Pelori. Methinks I will join your Nana back in the Grand Hall and see if they will get the feast going despite of the wedding being cancelled. Those pheasant mince pies do smell delicious.

Your Ada, Elrond (who is definitely not meddling in this matter)

**Author's Notes:**

Elrond is washing his hands of this latest debacle.


	27. The Scandal Papers

Certain elves are forced to relive their past trauma when a local tabloid unveils some lurid details of their past. This is a dig at all those SauronxMorgoth or other Silmarillion character fics out there.

**The Scandal Papers**

_Fourth Age 112, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

I am only sharing this here as I know with all certainty that you will not be reading this, ever. The topics are most unbefitting for the ear of elflings, ellyth, or any elf of an innocent nature. Poor Melpomaen fainted from shock and horror after Erestor slipped him that tabloid over the dinner table. Thankfully Sam and Frodo do not subscribe to this particular paper. Glorfindel has brought the editor of the paper – one Saeros chap – in for questioning by King Olwe, who decries the filth his paper has been producing in his realm. Knowing malicious gossip flies faster than any Great Eagle, I will not be too surprised if the folks at distant Formenos will be choking on their oatmeal at breakfast tomorrow.

The article, which was the centerfold, claims to be a detailed account by one Dark Lord Sauron (whom I am certain we helped defeat entirely before quitting Middle Earth). It purports to rank certain ellyn in terms of their – ahem – skills in the bedroom, as tried and tested by Sauron. The mind boggles at which sick mind came up with this garbage and how it made it to the presses. I know the news in the _Gossip_ has always been dubious at best, like the one about King Olwe turning into a fish and spearing Feanor as he was diving off Alqualonde (Feanor did get speared by a swordfish once but that fish ended up as his sons' supper back in the Years of the Trees). This one really takes the cake.

For starters, readers of the _Gossip_ twittering over the lurid details have triggered a major relapse episode in the White Ship pub where Maedhros and Fingon were dining out for their anniversary. Being ranked second-best ass on Sauron's list is not a good thing at all. I now need to concoct a calming draught for Uncle Maedhros. I do not regret to add that most of those elves are twittering no more after Fingon knocked out their teeth.

Your Nana warned me that she just spotted Cousin Celebrimbor smoking dream-weed on the Hobbits' porch, after decades of swearing off that stuff. He was ranked in front of his uncle. Even Ada Maglor was not spared. He came over to complain that although he was indeed in Barad-dur on a secret mission at Galadriel's behest towards the end of the Second Age, he never got near enough to Sauron to put an end to him. Basically he had hoped to both geld and gut his physical form before tossing him into the crater of Mt. Doom, Ring and all. Sometimes I think my Ada is the scariest of the Feanorions when he is really riled. He kindly offered to help take that draught over to Fingon's place and keep an eye on his nephew.

Your Ada Elrond

P.S. I think I better stop Ada Maglor. Just noticed he has a dagger in his belt and is heading the other way, towards Avallone where Saeros is being held for questioning.

* * *

_Fourth Age 112, Tol Eressea_

Dear Arwen

This salacious article is causing great distress to a good many elf it has named. Brothers Gelmir and Gwindor both issued letters in the _Tol Eressea Herald_ to the effect that they were held in captivity in the mines and were nowhere near Sauron or Morgoth during their stay in Angband. Gwindor added he lost his hand in a mine explosion and not as a result of poor bedroom performance.

I have just received an urgent letter by falcon from Formenos from Feanor. His step-grandson Maeglin has fallen into a catatonic state after Lady Aredhel picked up a copy of the_ Gossip _in Araman. Once a local tabloid, the _Gossip _seems to be making its presence known all over Aman. Lady Aredhel is beside herself with guilt for leaving the paper out for her son to stumble over in the parlour. She likes to know the antics her brother Turgon and his pals get up to. She is now petitioning the Valar to let her kick Morgoth and Sauron's collective asses for what they did to her poor baby back in the First Age.

On the bright side, Maeglin has been getting sympathy brownies from his in-laws. I have Celebrimbor here with me and he is swinging between singing Annatar's praises and cursing Sauron. Somehow he has managed to split Sauron into two very different personalities – one as his worst enemy and the other his best friend forever. He would make an interesting case study in the House of Healing but Ada Maglor informs me that the _Spirit of Fire II _has arrived in Avallone harbour and I should not keep Lady Aredhel waiting. Perhaps a change of scenery might do Tyelpe good, and keep him away from the dream-weed.

Your Ada Elrond

P.S. At the last minute, we decided to let Fingon and Maedhros join us on board. It will stop more tactless elves from having to pick their teeth off the cobblestones.

* * *

_Fourth Age 112, Formenos_

Dear Arwen

To say Feanor is miffed will be the understatement of the century. However, his current calm does not hide the fact that he is furious about what was written about his two eldest sons, grandson, step-grandson and Sauron. Fingolfin has also ridden up to Formenos on hearing of his grandson's condition. Arafinwe and his eldest have also made the journey against royal protocol and Feanor's keep-away-from-my-daughters order to Finrod Felagund.

Celebrimbor's condition seemed to have stabilized with Ada Maglor's music and the lack of dream-weed. The initial pangs of withdrawal were terrible to observe but no serious harm inflicted on Curufin's forge. Maeglin started to come round too. Maedhros not too good.

After reading the article, Finrod declared it a hoax on the grounds that the mighty Sauron could not get it up, not even with a hot poker up his ass. I am not going to question how the noble Finrod arrived at that conclusion. Finrod is also annoyed he was ranked only as 'barely satisfactory' in bedroom skills, behind Maeglin and even Lord Guilin's boys.

After making his contribution to the discussion, Finrod was promptly shown to the tower room by his uncle as the Feanoriels have returned from their hunting trip with Lady Aredhel's twins. Wait, did they take down a full-grown grizzly with only their bows and arrows? It must be so as they are parading the beast in the courtyard like a trophy – oh, they are skinning and butchering it.

Arafinwe is proposing we lodge a complaint with the Valar and have every offending issue of the tabloid incinerated before further harm is done. The editor should be sent off to the other side of Aman for a time for his own safety. Seems Lord Guilin's House is threatening to lynch him. Fingolfin suggested that the elf Saeros lacks the brains but has a strong enough sense of self-preservation not to write such an article and we should be tracking down the true culprit instead. He paused to remind Feanor that he did promise no more Kinslayings as Feanor was busy honing a wicked-looking scimitar in the corner during Arafinwe's little speech. Here they grilled me as to who on the isle of Tol Eressea would be capable of such a piece of mischief. I must confess that between Uncle Finrod getting suspended from his teaching at the Academy of Music due to improper contact with his students and the Lords of Gondolin getting drunk and running riot, there is no need for any additional drama…

Wait, I did recall another lecturer at the Academy being let go recently. Daeron I believe. Hm, he is close friends with Saeros, drinking buddies… Always quarrelling with Ada Maglor and Uncle FInrod over how the academy was being run. I also believe he had an altercation some time ago with Guilin's sons over one of their elflings' exam results.

Oh dear. Feanor is suggesting we find the little twerp and tie him to the water-mill. I will leave my elders to take this matter up with the Valar while I tend to my patients here. Uncle Maedhros might need a visit to Lorien which I will have to arrange behind Feanor's back. I will not be too surprised if Daeron ends up wandering the shores of the Outer Sea with his buddy for a time until tempers cool.

Your Ada Elrond

**Author's Notes:**

Someone seems to have made a major miscalculation pissing off all three sons of Finwe. No one messes with their family. Though it would figure that Finrod is upset with the article for the low rating rather that the intimate details alleged.


	28. Last Ship from Middle-earth

Sadly, all things come to an end here as Elrond greets the last arrivals from Middle Earth, marking the end of an era.

Cirdan departs with Lord Celeborn and his grandsons on the last ship for Valinor. Legolas tries his hand at the business of shipbuilding and sailing. Galadriel is fashionably late and surprises Celeborn. The twins waste little time in inflicting their pranks on Valinor's inhabitants.

**Last Ship from Middle-earth**

_Fourth Age 120, Avallone_

Dear Arwen

It is with great joy and expectation that we have gathered in Tol Eressea to meet your brothers after Lord Ulmo sent us word that they have indeed set sail on the last elvish ship to leave Mithlond. Understand that Prince Legolas has crafted a similar ship and sailed from the Mouth of the Anduin with Gimli after Lord Cirdan refused to take a dwarf aboard any of his vessels due to some old Falmari superstition about the Children of Mahal being bad luck on board ships. Bearing in mind Legolas' rafts capsizing during those summer raft races on the Bruinen with the other young ones, I sincerely hope the prince does not end up calling on Lord Namo first.

Just had to break up a spot of rowdiness after Lindir seriously irked Gil-galad with his rendition of _Gil-galad was an Elven King, _Gil-galad hated being reminded of that chapter of his life after opting for a carefree life far removed from any royal court. He was considering setting up a hermitage on some offshore island but dropped the idea when his parents protested. Did he mention who his parents were by the way? Next was Lindir irking Earendil with_ Earendil was a Mariner_. Finally had to send Lindir home when Finrod Felagund decided to improve on the_ Lay of Leithian _with him, regrettably in a naughty way. I (and half the population of Tol Eressea) do not need to have a mental image of my great-grandparents romping in the woods. Daeron was driven to tears and had to be fished out of the sea after running off the pier.

Your Nana has prepared a veritable welcome feast, with some help from the Hobbits, with which to greet her father and sons. She is a bit disappointed Lady Galadriel and Glorfindel have both been delayed in journeying from Valmar where they claim to be visiting Finwe for the past year. I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of your brothers, though I understand that this means that Estel has passed beyond the Circles of Arda. I pray that you find the strength to carry on without him until it is your time to be reunited with him…

Hold on, I think Erestor is placing some bets on whether Legolas or Cirdan would reach Aman first. Now that is highly unfair given that Cirdan is a master mariner and we of Imladris know Legolas' boat-building skills are inversely proportional to his skill with a bow.

Your loving Ada

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 120, Avallone_

Dear Arwen

It has been three days since the expected arrival of the last ship and nary a sail in sight. Your Nana is starting to fret that mishap might have befallen our sons. It is my sincere belief that if any mishap should happen to Cirdan's vessel, it would be some childish prank courtesy of your brothers. The welcome feast has gone to feed an increasingly surly mob and two hungry Hobbits. Many of the welcoming party have decided to return home for now. Frodo and Sam still holding out but I have booked them rooms in the _Harbour Inn _so that they might watch the horizon for sails from the east. Mithrandir has arrived (fashionably late) to greet the Last Ship.

Lord Cirdan is even later and our Maia was left sulking in the lobby of the _Harbour Inn _performing magic tricks for the elflings for the past two days. Could someone please check in with Lord Osse whether Cirdan's had a run-in with the Feanorions' _Spirit of Fire II_? I believe the House of Feanor is in the habit of taking a cruise off Araman at this time of the year.

Wait, there is a sail in the distance…

Good Eru, this is no sleek beauty from Cirdan's shipyard! This is a nigh ungainly but sturdy craft with a jubilant Legolas at the helm. He has brought with him a part of his people from Ithilien and his best friend Gimli, of course, who advised him in the ship building from the plans Cirdan sent. It is an ark with room for not only the elves but their pets and livestock, and one Istar. Never thought I would see Radagast so soon. Who could forget those weasels of his? Erestor has lost his bet and is now fleeing from the island before the others come to collect.

Mithrandir is elated to meet the Prince and Gimli but disappointed that Thranduil has declined to sail and will remain behind. He believes it might be insecurity that keeps Thranduil from meeting First Age legends like Finrod and Elu Thingol. Legolas disputes this and states his adar was simply discharging his duty to those of his people who chose not to sail. The argument was brought to a chaotic end when Radagast announced his dragon egg was hatching.

It took a while for customs to check Legolas' vessel for any more contraband items. Some unusual items were recovered - a stuffed orc's head trophy, a dozen warg pelts and a bag of Mumakil dung (apparently as a gift to Samwise – it makes great fertilizer). Also confiscated by Mithrandir was a crate of those infamous magic mushrooms. We have also taken care of the baby dragon, much to Radagast's dismay, after the beast tried to nosh on fresh elfling as its first meal. Yes, I can still swing a hatchet to take down a small dragon trying to chew someone's head off. Those critters can double in size within hours of hatching. No, it was not just a playful nip. It was fortuitous the dragon did not hatch at sea as I do not fancy the chances of the crew and passengers if that happened.

I asked after his rabbits but apparently the crew got a bit sick of seafood during the sail and had a vote for rabbit vs. old boot stew. So our friend is hoping Yavanna could super-size some of her bunnies to pull his sled, once Gimli builds it.

Gimli set off a bit of a ruckus by being the first dwarf in Valinor. Uncle Finrod is elated be able to hold a full conversation in Khuzdul with someone other than Caranthir (who has mastered Dwarvish cuss words in at least seven dialects back in the First Age). Legolas is all agog at meeting his childhood hero Finrod but promptly scandalized when Uncle Finrod and Gimli fell into a very graphic conversation comparing the assets of Mannish women, ellyth and Dwarrowdams between the sheets. I am surprised, not that Legolas mastered Khuzdul but that he is such a prude knowing Thranduil's attitude to such matters.

I really wonder what happened to Lord Cirdan and his passengers.

Feeling increasingly worried,

Your loving Ada

Elrond

* * *

_Fourth Age 120, Avallone_

Dear Arwen

Trust your grandmother Lady Galadriel to be fashionably late and make a great entrance. Glorfindel and Lady Galadriel reappeared in Avallone this morning with a pair of newborn elflings – one with Fin's golden hair and the other with your grandmother's unmistakable gold and silver tresses. The pair appeared just as the Cirdan's last ship sailed gracefully into harbour, two weeks behind schedule. Oh sweet Lord Manwe, this is so awkward.

Your grandfather understandably riled to be greeted on his arrival by the undeniable proof of Galadriel's affair with Fin. He is demanding passage on the next ship back to Middle-earth and as soon as possible. If he had known, he might have taken up his cousin Thranduil's offer to rule the New Greenwood by his side. To his dismay, he learnt that there were to be no ships back to Endore and the Road is closed. Haldir and his brothers had to restrain their lord from trying to swim back home Amroth-style and probably drowning.

Your Nana is much distressed by this abrupt end to her parents' union. Galadriel has prepared some divorce papers for her soon-to-be ex's viewing and approval. As settlement, she has promised him a tract of pristine woodland near Elu Thingol's lodge with a modest talan for him and his companions. The alternative is a threesome arrangement, knowing Celeborn's fondness for blond ellyn. This is after much discussion with her grandfather in Valmar. I hope that your Nana would be able to accept this rather drastic change in her life. Celeborn is asking for some time to reconsider and discuss it with his companions. Haldir ventured rather candidly that Glorfindel is fair enough to pass for Thranduil. Glorfindel is much offended at being compared to a woodland elf, even a king.

Your brothers have been, well, utterly and thoroughly pranked by my twin uncles and the Ambarussa within minutes of setting foot on Tol Eressea. Oh, and Uncle Mel is collateral damage. We have three elves drenched in molasses and dusted with feathers. This is going to need some serious cleaning up before Elladan and Elrohir can join us for the long-overdue welcome dinner at Grandma Idril's. Seriously do not like the fact that despite being pranked, Elladan and Elrohir seem to be getting along with my uncles and their redhead chums. I predict a season of many pranks and mischief coming to Valinor.

Very uneasily

Your adar

* * *

_Fourth Age 120, Tol Eressea_

Dear daughter

Though it grieves me to learn that you have forgone any possible comfort from the company of your brothers in your last mortal days by urging them to sail, I find solace in that you have had a full, blissful life with Estel ere he took his death. I pray that you may find peace in the familiar environs of Lothlorien where you have spent many happy seasons…

Good grief! Your brothers and their new friends do not waste any time starting their campaign of pranks on all and sundry. Before Grandma has a chance to set the table for the welcome feast, Grandfather Tuor was caught in a snare courtesy of the Ambarussa. The privy fell apart while Erestor was using it this morning. I fear this was a severe blow to our advisor's dignity as he has been in a catatonic state since. Given that I have just spotted my twin uncles running out of the kitchen door, I might just forgo dinner tonight.

Galadriel was screaming about her tresses being shorn after an unaccountably heavy nap, and so's Glorfindel. And someone put their infants in an oak tree, cradle and all. I did wonder why the pair failed to show up at the welcome dinner. I better check on my medicine chest. A very annoyed Feanor is knocking on the door to demand to know which elf painted his ship bright green and shaved his three daughters bald into the bargain after they were left on board to watch it as punishment for some prank involving his adulterous niece, her blond lover-boy and their brats. The last thing the trio recalled was inviting a pair of dark handsome ellyn aboard to share a flask of wine. I did not just see a big sack of shorn silver-pale tresses stuffed under the settee.

Verily, did you urge your brothers to sail to spare your subjects and the good people of Endore? This will be the last letter as I feel that you would soon be watching us from wherever mortals go and having a good laugh with Estel at your brothers' pranks. Hope you enjoy the show.

Your Ada Elrond

P.S. Just spotting Lady Aredhel's twins sneaking out from the bath-house. I think that bath I was so looking forward to is not that necessary.

**Author's Notes:**

Feanor's little girls are no saints themselves. Try as I might, I cannot shake off the trope of the prankster twins. This is the end of this crazy romp through the varied landscape of the Silmarillion's Valinor.


End file.
